Birth Plans: VBA3C?

I have four children so far. Three of them have come into this world via c-section. With my last baby, I didn't know I had the option to VBA2C. If I had, I might have tried, even though she was 11 pounds. :)  This time around, I am really praying about a VBA3C. It's something I have desired for years but have been unable due to medical teams who push for repeat c-sections and large or breech babies. If this little one isn't "huge", then I'll try laboring and if all goes "normally" I hope to deliver vaginally.

As I am seen at a University hospital, they don't have a written policy on VBACs. They encourage it if a woman has had one c-section. They start to question after two. My case, a diabetic with a history of large babies and three c-sections, they start to sweat. I asked my doctor about it on Tuesday when I was seen for a fetal-echo. He started sweating trying to tell me he was completely against it but that he can't force me to have a repeat c-section. The medical student with him was in awe that I would even ask.

Right now, we are in a wait and see mode. I'm prayerfully considering what might be in God's plans for us. I want a natural, vaginal deliver so badly. At the same time, I am not opposed to another c-section. I explained it to my husband this way, as a woman, I feel this longing to have a natural deliver. At the same time, whatever gets baby out healthfully and keeps me around to care for my family, I'm ok with. I don't need to have one kind of delivery. I have several children that need me, a husband who wants me around, and I'm not afraid of surgery (if I were, I wouldn't be pregnant again as I didn't know VBA3C was an option until researching).

As I continue my research on the topic, I will hopefully have enough energy and sanity to keep up with blogging so I can share the information I find with all of you. It is so hard to find good information and facts on VBA3+C or even VBA2+C. It even harder to find stats when you throw in diabetes. Much of what I hope to share will be for "regular", non-diabetic moms because it is so hard to find facts and numbers.

If you wouldn't mind, please pray for me and our family as we make preparations for this little ones arrival. I'm not due until November 8, but I am praying for peace and wisdom and am asking everyone to do the same. God is in control. I just need to trust that this baby will come as He sees fit, not me. :)

27 Weeks

I am 27 weeks along today! Happy 27 weeks!

Photo Credit

We do know what we're having, but we are not sharing names. We will announce once this sweet little one arrives!

That really isn't much to report. I have been having regular contractions for 7 weeks now, just like the last three pregnancies. My blood sugars have been running a bit higher than anyone would like the last week, so I'm sure adjustments will come soon. I feel great, except for complete body muscle failure when I get to the top of the stairs, but I've had tests and nothing is wrong. So, I just take stairs easy and rest once reaching the top.

Baby is doing well. Everything is wear it should be and everything looks normal. Baby is even showing the right size for gestational age, which is always nice. :) I can tell when baby sleeps and wakes because of the constant movement when I'm resting and no movement when I'm moving. Zach likes to sit and watch or feel baby move. He asked me to go to the "baby doctor" and have him take the baby out so he can see Baby now. I don't think the kids really grasp the concept of waiting for baby to be ready.

That's about all of an update there is for now. A quiet pregnancy is a good pregnancy, right? I do have lots of uncomfortable and unpleasant pregnancy symptoms, but I've had them since baby 2, so I'm a bit used to them.

Three More Months! We're all getting excited!

Having It All Together

A dear friend of mine wrote me a text the other afternoon that caught me off guard. "I feel like I don't have it together." Simple. Short. Something I've heard before many times. I've also felt it many times. I'm not sure why that day was different. Having it all together? Does she think I do? What does that even look like?

My idea of a perfect mom is the woman who gets up early and makes breakfast and cleans up afterwards without complaints. She then gets everyone dressed and ready for the day, after sweeping her floor of course. Then, she sits everyone down for Bible time and/or school time. For lunch, she makes something "hot" and healthy. She can get her little ones down for naps with ease, or at least patience. She spends her afternoon either instructing her kids in their lessons or playing with them. Dinner is always planned weeks in advance and something everyone will eat. Bedtime is easy as her kids are trained to lay in bed (and stay there) until the morning. After all the kids are in bed, she gets to spend time with her husband. They get to enjoy each others company. Then she gets to bed around ten, maybe eleven.

That image I have is so far from me. I fall so short in all areas.

I think as mothers and homemakers, we feel like we need to "have it together" at all times. At. All. Times. I feel that way often, daily even. It comes from keeping up appearances. On Sundays, everyone puts on their Sunday clothes, but most importantly their Sunday faces. We smile and look happy. Greeting each other with hugs or handshakes. We make small talk and act like everything is fine. Our marriages look perfect. Our children are expected to behave. We want our clothes to reflect what we think others expect. Am I right? We are expected to have well-behaved kids. We are expected to keep a perfect home. We are expected to be beautiful all the time.

Fellow homemakers and mother, let me tell you something. When you give up those expectations, it is so freeing! I definitely do not have it together most of the time. My laundry piles up. The dishes always need doing. My room looks like it did when I was a kid, like a tornado went through it, mainly because that's where we live when I'm sick. I look like a mess most of the time in comparison to the ladies from church. Granted, we have a very different belief and understanding about what marriage is and how it should look, so I'm thankful for that lack of the "perfect wife" expectation on my husband's part (I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have a man like that).

"For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ."  Galatians 1:10

I always think about that verse when I'm considering the pressures of motherhood and marriage. Of course, those pressures are generally those I put on myself or what others expect of me (or what I think they expect of me).

Keely and Mommy over a year ago

I believe in being good stewards, however, I do not worry over my house's state all the time. For example, I haven't swept my floor since Wednesday morning. The only laundry I've done until today for the past week was the diapers, and that was only because I ran out of them (the girls woke up and only two diapers were in the closet). I haven't cooked much this week (and I was met with complaints about the rice and beans I made). However, my kids are fed and mostly clean at the end of the day. My house isn't falling apart, even though it has toys everywhere. My kids are happy, and even though my husband isn't pleased with me all the time, he's fed, clothed, and has a home that is at least functioning.

Are we supposed to "have it all together"? I don't think so. It's a perception that women have. It's almost as though it's a competition. We have this idea of what the perfect mother is. I hope that as I write and share my short comings and my willingness to admit them, that you will see that no one is perfect but that's what grace is for. That's what God is for.

What's Important

Today was a great day, until Mommy got overwhelmed.

We spent the morning with friends and the folks that are leading Backyard Bible Club.

We took naps, which one of the kidlets didn't listen so he's tired.

Then we went to the store. Everything fell apart.

Some things happened at home that had nothing to do with the kids...those things set me off.

After our completely healthy dinner of cookies and corn dogs, Mommy swept the floors and read a book to Zach. Why? Because this lady needed an attitude adjustment. Reading a store is far more important than sweeping my kitchen anyway.

Three of what really matters

I won't go into details, but I really am tired of being the only homemakers here. I'm tired of cooking and cleaning. I'm tired of planning everything and not having help. Parenting and caring for my kids isn't always easy, but I always feel fulfilled.


So, tonight, I will focus on being the best Mommy I can be. Zachary thanked my tonight for dinner. That meant the world to me since no one, and I mean no one, thanks me for feeding them unless we're hosting a meal for friends. Zachary, you are so welcome sweet boy. Thank you for eating corn dogs and cookies with your Mommy. I really enjoyed sharing in songs with you.

This Mothering Journey

I have been a mother for about 5.5 years. Sure, it doesn't sound like very long, but I've had four children in that time and am expecting our fifth in late October or early November. In those short years, I've gained a lot of mothering experience.



I've learned that there are just some times silly pictures have to be taken...ok, at our house, A LOT of times when they must be taken.

Some times, your daughter is just going to cry when you say no. It's okay, she'll learn and get over it. Other times, you will sit and cuddle her and tell her it's okay. There will always be someone who does it better, faster, more patiently, has a cleaner house, a better car/van, more kids, better behaved kids...the list goes on forever. 

One day you'll wake up and they're eighteen...or four.

The number one thing I've learned is that we are all at different points on our mothering journey. I have several friends with one or two children who are the same age as some of my kids (I'm not friends with anyone with more than two children). It's hard for them to imagine having more than what they have because they struggle so much with one or two. Many don't take me up on offers to help them because I have four and it must be so difficult.

Some times, it's worth letting her mop the drive in the rain

We are all at different points in mothering. At this point in my life, it isn't as hard as many think it is. In fact, I think this point is easier than it was when I had two. Yes, there is always something I could clean, a fight to break up, an owie to fix, a baby to nurse, a meal to fix, a basket of laundry, or something else to do, but that's how life is. It won't be like this for long so I'm going to love the busy-ness and loudness of it all.

Take heart, overwhelmed mother! While you feel overwhelmed, it is only a short time. It's okay to ask for help and take advantage when others offer. It's hard when you're in the trenches. It's hard when everyone is telling you how they parent or stare when you're three year old throws a tantrum in the store, but you are the parent and you are doing the best you can. It's okay to lock yourself in the bathroom for a few minute, if everyone is safe, or to go cry in your room. Your kids will be fine. 

That is me, sleeping, holding our youngest daughter when she was a couple weeks old.
After putting Keely to bed, we fell asleep on the living room furniture while Daddy was playing softball.
Overwhelmed? That doesn't even start to tell you what I was. :)