A Shout Out To My Husband

I LOVE YOU!
WORLD, I LOVE MY HUSBAND!

P.S. you look nice in your uniform
That is all. :)

The New Normal

I have five children now. Life is the same as it was before my fifth baby's birth. The only real difference is that I have a baby strapped to me most of the day and I am co-sleeping again and nursing all the time. I nursed Ziva (21 months old) until she was 19 months old, so I nursed almost all of my pregnancy so nursing hasn't really changed. 

Rhett -  2 Days Old

The new normal is better than I could have ever imagined. My baby nurses like a champ, sleeps like a champ as well, and is well loved by all his family. His siblings fight over who gets to hold him and who gets to watch him while Mama runs to the restroom. I sit, watching my kids, all five,  and am completely blown away by God's grace and mercy. He has blessed me more than anyone in my life ever imagine and certainly more than I could have hoped. 

Ziva, the little Mama in our house

We haven't gotten back to homeschooling yet because we've had Grandma and Gran here back to back and nothing gets done when we have family visiting. It's okay. I'm not going to waste their time with family pushing reading and math because I'm told it's more important. We see them for a short time each year. We'll just push school into the summer. 

My cooking has...suffered. We are eating a lot of processed stuff mainly because I've gotten some sweet deals on it and I need the ease of it. Slowly but surely I am getting back to our natural, unprocessed way of life. The real kickoff for that is Thanksgiving. Nothing processed will be at our meal. I cannot wait! We have Gran visiting us (my mother-in-law) and there is a huge surprise in store as well! I am so excited! I hope to have my camera out so I can share photos with you when the surprise is revealed. Did I say I'm so excited?

Daddy playing ball with the boys while Mommy heals

My husband's career has also finally seen progress. He reports to his new unit soon and will finally know what's going on with potential deployments, promotion potential, and reenlistment. After 2 years of training and 3 years of waiting, we are seeing progress! I am praising the Lord for every great thing He has blessed us with. It doesn't seem like much to people in our lives, but it's important to us.

As far as post baby life for me, it's been great. I healed fast. I feel great. I felt great about a week after. I've pushed myself faster, further, and harder after this c-section. At the same time, if I hurt, I stopped. It's been so nice and such a blessing.

Our new normal is great. It's blessed by the Lord and I haven't been this content or happy with life ever.  My husband is seeing success at work, which is a blessing for everyone. The kids are being kids and are blessing me at every turn, even in their anger, exhaustion, and fighting. God is so good to me!

Rhett Laze's Birth Story

Rhett Laze - Two Days Old

My fifth child, my third son, was born on October 24, 2013. Why has it taken so long to write a birth story? Well, I haven't been overwhelmed by having a fifth really. I've been overwhelmed by people visiting!  It has been such a gift but has made blogging rather difficult. I think blogging can take a back seat for now.

So here is the birth story I wrote when he was two weeks old that has just been waiting to get posted:

On October 24, 2013, our family welcomed our youngest sweet one into the world. His name is Rhett and he was born at 11:44pm via c-section. His birth was not how I had hoped it would be or planned, but God has blessed us and I am overjoyed to have him in our lives. He is a gift from God and so was his birth. This is not a story about a natural birth or the VBA3C I had been praying for, and I do feel a bit defeated in that. Defeated is a strong enough word...I feel like I failed and made the wrong choice. Even though I have such strong feeling of second guessing my choice, it is a beautiful story nonetheless. 

On Friday, October 18, my contractions began coming regularly every 10 minutes, but they were still nothing I noticed. I had a doctors appointment and non stress test on Tuesday (the 15), and was checked for dilation and found no progress (3cm and 75% effaced). I was a bit disappointed, but at least that gave us a point to know when "change" happened. I set my deadline for a VBA3C for Saturday (October 19). Well, unfortunately for me, Saturday came and went. I pushed it till Sunday and then that flew by as well. It was so difficult to see those deadlines come and go. I was saddened and frustrated. I began my struggle to find peace. 

The morning of October 23, my contractions picked up in intensity. I could no long ignore them, but I could easily work through them, making dinner, doing bed time with my four children, hanging out with my husband, and cleaning. They were still ten minutes apart, nothing new. October 24, I had a non stress test again that morning and they registered very strongly on the monitor, but since they weren't new and baby was doing well through them, I was sent home.  I sent my husband a text saying it was his turn to try inducing labor…and we all know what that means. ;-)  We were on a time table, he was leaving for training in a few days and wanted to witness this little one's birth. He's missed two out of the first four, he didn't want to miss the fifth. So, we tried our natural induction when I got home from the doctor and I wound up with bloody show later, but nothing I was concerned about. Nothing that screamed "Lady! You're in labor!"

My contractions continued, I timed them for an hour, 5 minutes apart, but then I stopped because I got busy with dinner and playing with the kids. They would get closer together then get further apart all the time, I wasn't in labor. Well, when dinner and dinner clean up was done, I sat down and found that they were still 5 minutes apart. Decision time, my husband had to work in the morning, do we go in early enough so if it's a false alarm we can still make it home for a few hours of sleep or do I wait until the morning to see if I'm in labor. I wasn't convinced, but my husband was anxious to get this baby here. At 6:30pm, I was convinced, we sent grandma to the store while we got ready. 7pm, we were out the door and ready to have a baby…well, he was hopeful, I was less than convinced. On the way we chatted, we laughed, we were becoming very convinced that this was not labor. It wasn't painful at all, in fact, I didn't even notice more the contractions. I almost had him turn around, but we had committed to going and getting check. We got to the hospital, parked in the parking ramp and waddled my butt up to L&D just before 9pm. I checked in but there were so many women in the rooms there, I had to wait to be triaged for 20 minutes or so. No big deal, not labor. I had to use the rest room at this point, which confirmed I was still bleeding, but it looked like cervical change bleeding, nothing impressive. The doctor came in, decided to check me, convinced no baby would come tonight. Ok, we'd still get 4-5 hours of sleep before my husband had to leave for work. (The fact that he had to be to work at 4am was the reason we went in when we did. If we hadn't, I would have waited until my water broke, probably some time the next day) He started getting ready to go home. I did too.

She checked me. "Hmmm," she said. "What does that mean?" I asked, my husband's face lit up. "Well, we're going to get you an IV and we're going to have a baby soon." My husband's face was so excited. He sent text messages to everyone, especially the superiors at work so they knew he wouldn't be there since we thought we'd be waiting until 2am to have this sweet baby. I was 4cm, completely effaced, and my water was ready to break. He was coming soon one way or the other. I was kind of sad to be in the hospital at this point, but I had made my choice on going in to get checked and had the support from my family to be there. I do think that part of me will always question whether I should have waited and labored at home and fought for a VBA3C, but I cannot live questioning it. It takes away from my joy and I will not let that happen! If we had waited, I have no doubts we might have had a baby at home or an emergency situation. I'm glad I don't have to worry about which one it might have been. 

Well, things went fast from that point. The entire staff was in shock that I lacked any pain with the contractions. They kept telling me as soon as the spinal block got done I wouldn't feel them. People, if that's all my contractions were like until I was seriously into labor or my water broke, I could handle that with ease. Anyway, I labored in a bed for a couple hours until they had an OR open and staff ready. I went back and waited some more for this anesthesiologist resident to do my spinal. I've had four spinals and an epidural done…this was the longest and worst experience I've ever had. It hurt ten times worse than any contractions and he didn't even do a very good job. I ended up needing more medication twice through my IV just to not feel the pain of the surgery! 11:20pm, I was finally on my back on the table, my husband was brought in and they started. Ok, My husband was standing watching them do it. No big deal for him but I kind of wanted a little encouragement as this was the worse c-section ever…ok, not ever, but it was hard. There was a lot more pushing to get him out than with the other kids. I asked him a few times to focus on me. I couldn't breathe as they pushed. He had to focus on coaching me through the breaths. He did great. 11:44pm, he was out and I needed more pain meds. I got to see him for two seconds after they cleaned him up. 10 pounds 14 ounces. 21.5 inches long. Blood sugar of 55. The low range of high so they took him to the NICU and treated him with both and IV and bottles after I told them one or the other. Since I couldn't have that fight in the NICU, I let it go and prayed. God watched over him and blessed us with an easy transition to breastfeeding after the bottles. Another answered prayer!

He spent 2 days in the NICU, but hasn't looked back since. He's lost a pound, but that's what happens when mom is pumped full of fluids before birth. He nurses like a champ, sleeps like a sweet baby should, and has such a pleasant demeanor. The kids all love him and that is a great plus. No jealousy. No rivalry. No issues so far. I'm praying we are blessed with an easy transition. 

Since my sweet Rhett was born, I've struggled with my choice of delivery. I do wish I had labored at home, I do wish I'd push for a VBA3C. I regret my choice to go in when I did and let the staff kind of bully me into a c-section, but I will continue to fight for peace in my choice and I WILL ALWAYS love my sweet baby and his birth story. I am blessed by his arrival and cannot imagine my life without him or any of his siblings.

Week 33-34 Update

Well, I had another OB appointment, which happened to be the same day as my growth ultrasound. It took 6 hours to get to the doctors office and home, but that's alright. My sitter was late, so it wasn't my fault. I'm just thankful I had a sitter.

It was tough news for me to hear. Baby is growing "normally", which is awesome new. However, his head is measuring 5 weeks ahead of the estimated due date they have on file (so between 3-4 weeks ahead of the due time frame I came up with). I'm worried about VBA3C anyway, but his head size doesn't make me feel any more confident.

Physically, I'm exhausted. I'm having contractions all the time. One night, I woke up in so much pain from them I grabbed my husband and forced myself to focus on breathing. They eventually went back to what they normally are, but I was rather worried for awhile. It takes a lot for me to go in. I only went in when my water broke with my last baby. I had probably been in real labor for a solid 18 hours before  making it to the hospital at 6-7cm. Who knows, if I go into labor early, I might just end up at a local hospital needing transport to my delivering hospital. Or, if God willed it, I could deliver in our garden bath tub. No big deal, right? That would be a birth story!

My kids are doing well. They are all getting excited. Even Ziva pats my tummy and says "baby" when she sees me. It's super sweet. Daddy is stressing out, but only because he's in school right now. He graduates on October 3. We're super excited...though he has to get his scores up if he hopes to make his career what he wants. He doesn't want to settle, but he's got work hard for it. I'll be editing papers last minute I'm sure. :)

My mom quit her job this week and will be driving from the Midwest to North Carolina to help me with the kids for the last 4-5 weeks I'm pregnant and until I'm healed. She sounds very excited! I need someone here in case I go into labor early as Daddy doesn't have the ability to leave work or miss work, even for a baby. Sad story, I know...not really. I had Ziva completely by myself, so I'm not concerned. Babies are born everyday without their Daddy there. Wives have babies without husbands. I've already had two births without my husband, one completely alone (after sitting in traffic for 4 hours waiting for an accident to clear, just 8 miles from the hospital).

Prayer Requests: VBA3C still...the staff at the hospital is completely against it. The ultrasound tech said they would require me to have a c-section if I came to the hospital I'm at and the OB still says he wants to do a c-section. I'm frustrated and really not sure what to do. Maybe I should write a letter of intent to VBA3C...we'll see. I'm not even sure what I would write in it. Any ideas? Pray please. Above all else, for peace. I trust the God will provide for our needs and for our situation as He always has. I just need peace and my husband needs peace.

Stinky Cloth Diaper Fix

Over the past 7 months, I have noticed that the cloth diapers I've been using for over a year have started to hold onto their stink...especially the poopy ones. Icky! I thought I knew all I needed to know about stripping the diapers. Boy was I wrong! Yesterday, in yet another internet search for answers, I found a blog that had what I had never heard before. It was eye opening! Of course, I cannot find the blog or the information anywhere in my phone or computer web history, so I'm just going to share it. If you find it, please contact me so I can credit this brilliant woman who opened my eyes!

For years, I've cloth diapered. Using homemade detergent that worked well for my kidlets sensitive skin and getting clothing clean. It worked well for everything, including diapers. I had to change from that detergent about two months ago when my youngest began breaking out with this horrid rash where the diapers covered. I went back to the ever expensive Tide...I hate paying so much, but if it works, it works. Yes, I use it for the diapers and have no real problem. I use less than recommended and rinse each load 5 times (with my washer, it takes about 4.5 hours to wash a load of diapers (3-4 days worth). I began rinsing with vinegar when my friend gave me instructions after I purchased my first diapers from her. It worked well, until about 6 months ago.

The diapers, up until this spring, held onto their ammonia stink, which I could handle. I just rinsed with vinegar again and continued on with my day. Fourish months ago, they started to hold onto everything...it smelled like I hadn't even washed them! It was frustrating and I was ready to go back to disposable as I could not handle the stink being pregnant and all. Searching and searching had turned up nothing until a very recently. Here's what I found...

Hard water can react with vinegar to make it hold onto stink or create it's own odor. Icky! I didn't know that. I had never heard that! Why did it take years to find that out?! The answer was simple...baking soda. That also explains why the stink got so much worse when I switched back to store bought laundry detergent. I had always used tons of baking soda in my detergent and now, I wasn't using any. My diaper stink problem has been solved. Friends, if you have that stink that you can't get rid of, strip the diapers, but instead of adding vinegar to the rinse, add baking soda. I guess on the amount. I don't even measure when I cook, so laundry is no different. I would suggest you experiment with amounts until you find what works for you.

My Diaper Washing Process:

1. Throw diapers (icky stuff removed of course) into the washing machine
2. Wash the load with hot water (my washer does not have the "hot water rinse option", but a hot wash works fine) and whatever soap you use for your diapers (I used homemade, but currently use Tide Free & Clear, or whatever it's called)
3. Rinse two more times, I have an HE washer so it's a small amount of water for me, not sure if you have to rinse extra, but I like to ensure no build up
4. For the final rinse, add baking soda (instead of the classic vinegar)

I do wash my diapers once, rinse 3-4 times, then line dry. It is a process and most other people don't do this much with their diapers. I just hate stink and would rather have it clean than stinky. If you want some other information on cloth diapers and cloth diaper care, feel free to search for it. I did for years and still do. The information is just waiting for you!

Mommy's Bad Day

Do you ever have those days? The ones where life just sucks?

Well, one day last week was one of those days for me. I didn't sleep well because I'm basically in labor but not progressing, which is a good thing at this point. So, I was tired.

Then there was the water and ice that was spilled in the car all over the only diapers I brought with us and the pillow his sister loves.

Speech was filled with no listening skills. Naps was much the same.

Bed time was the only highlight of the day, but as I sat in my bed listening to them chatter, I relished in it. The kids were all staying in their beds, even 18 month old Ziva. Calling for Mom, but not getting out of bed. That hasn't happened in over 2 years. Normally, I have to lay in their room with them or fold laundry outside their door to get them to stay in bed. Nope, not last night. Sleep came easy and quickly to me bunch last night. For that, I am thankful.

So thankful for God's promises and forgiveness.

Today is a new day. I will rejoice and be glad in everything, even the water sitting in the cup holder that I have yet to clean up.

Weeks 30 & 31 Pregnancy Update

I skipped the last 3-4 weeks as not much is going on pregnancy wise. I'm getting huge, but I'm not hungry all the time any more. I'm hoping that means I won't gain tons of weight. That is always a concern for my dietician and endocrinologist. I normally lose weight when I'm pregnant. This time, I've gained a whole 10 pounds...shocking, I know. My first I gained 12 and lost it when he was born. My second, gained 15 and lost that plus 5 before leaving the hospital. Third, I broke even, gaining 10, losing 10. Fourth, I gained 17, but I lost 20. With her, however, I overate, trying to keep my milk supply up and ended up gaining 10 pound between birth and 11 month old. This time, I'm hoping to break even and get down to pre-marriage weight before the next baby, God willing.

It's busy with the four kids and being this far along, but I love it! My kids are a handful, but they are such a joy and I wouldn't trade my life for anything else. Zach and Asher are getting very excited to meet their newest sibling. Every time I go to any doctor, they ask if the doctor is going to take the baby out this time. There is an overwhelming sadness for them when I tell them not this time.

Birth planning is seeming like a constant battle. I really want this VBA3C. It's hard to explain to the doctors why, but they can't force me to have another scheduled c-section. If this beautiful little one decides to come before my 39 week c-section, which I am praying for, I will be trying a VBA3C...which means I will be laboring in a bed hooked up to constant monitors to watch for the uterine rupture or other "distressing" signs. Not ideal, but if God blesses me with the chance, I know I can do it.

I am still nursing and plan to continue to until Ziva is either two year old or not interested. I'm guessing she'll want to nurse until she's two. So, I'll start to completely ween after Christmas. I am hoping that continuing to nurse will help her adjust to not being the baby any more. Keely didn't do so well, so I'm really looking for something to help make it easier.

Not much else is going on in our home these days. Daddy, Lord willing, will not be here much for the next four weeks. We are praying he'll be finishing up his final school before a possible deployment and a promotion. We'd appreciate prayers for peace in this situation and that God would allow Daddy to get into this class. We are up against the re-enlistment deadline and are hoping to get to a real unit before having to sign again. Please, pray. We need lots of prayer for peace more than anything.

Blessings to you all!

Birth Plans: VBA3C?

I have four children so far. Three of them have come into this world via c-section. With my last baby, I didn't know I had the option to VBA2C. If I had, I might have tried, even though she was 11 pounds. :)  This time around, I am really praying about a VBA3C. It's something I have desired for years but have been unable due to medical teams who push for repeat c-sections and large or breech babies. If this little one isn't "huge", then I'll try laboring and if all goes "normally" I hope to deliver vaginally.

As I am seen at a University hospital, they don't have a written policy on VBACs. They encourage it if a woman has had one c-section. They start to question after two. My case, a diabetic with a history of large babies and three c-sections, they start to sweat. I asked my doctor about it on Tuesday when I was seen for a fetal-echo. He started sweating trying to tell me he was completely against it but that he can't force me to have a repeat c-section. The medical student with him was in awe that I would even ask.

Right now, we are in a wait and see mode. I'm prayerfully considering what might be in God's plans for us. I want a natural, vaginal deliver so badly. At the same time, I am not opposed to another c-section. I explained it to my husband this way, as a woman, I feel this longing to have a natural deliver. At the same time, whatever gets baby out healthfully and keeps me around to care for my family, I'm ok with. I don't need to have one kind of delivery. I have several children that need me, a husband who wants me around, and I'm not afraid of surgery (if I were, I wouldn't be pregnant again as I didn't know VBA3C was an option until researching).

As I continue my research on the topic, I will hopefully have enough energy and sanity to keep up with blogging so I can share the information I find with all of you. It is so hard to find good information and facts on VBA3+C or even VBA2+C. It even harder to find stats when you throw in diabetes. Much of what I hope to share will be for "regular", non-diabetic moms because it is so hard to find facts and numbers.

If you wouldn't mind, please pray for me and our family as we make preparations for this little ones arrival. I'm not due until November 8, but I am praying for peace and wisdom and am asking everyone to do the same. God is in control. I just need to trust that this baby will come as He sees fit, not me. :)

27 Weeks

I am 27 weeks along today! Happy 27 weeks!

Photo Credit

We do know what we're having, but we are not sharing names. We will announce once this sweet little one arrives!

That really isn't much to report. I have been having regular contractions for 7 weeks now, just like the last three pregnancies. My blood sugars have been running a bit higher than anyone would like the last week, so I'm sure adjustments will come soon. I feel great, except for complete body muscle failure when I get to the top of the stairs, but I've had tests and nothing is wrong. So, I just take stairs easy and rest once reaching the top.

Baby is doing well. Everything is wear it should be and everything looks normal. Baby is even showing the right size for gestational age, which is always nice. :) I can tell when baby sleeps and wakes because of the constant movement when I'm resting and no movement when I'm moving. Zach likes to sit and watch or feel baby move. He asked me to go to the "baby doctor" and have him take the baby out so he can see Baby now. I don't think the kids really grasp the concept of waiting for baby to be ready.

That's about all of an update there is for now. A quiet pregnancy is a good pregnancy, right? I do have lots of uncomfortable and unpleasant pregnancy symptoms, but I've had them since baby 2, so I'm a bit used to them.

Three More Months! We're all getting excited!

Having It All Together

A dear friend of mine wrote me a text the other afternoon that caught me off guard. "I feel like I don't have it together." Simple. Short. Something I've heard before many times. I've also felt it many times. I'm not sure why that day was different. Having it all together? Does she think I do? What does that even look like?

My idea of a perfect mom is the woman who gets up early and makes breakfast and cleans up afterwards without complaints. She then gets everyone dressed and ready for the day, after sweeping her floor of course. Then, she sits everyone down for Bible time and/or school time. For lunch, she makes something "hot" and healthy. She can get her little ones down for naps with ease, or at least patience. She spends her afternoon either instructing her kids in their lessons or playing with them. Dinner is always planned weeks in advance and something everyone will eat. Bedtime is easy as her kids are trained to lay in bed (and stay there) until the morning. After all the kids are in bed, she gets to spend time with her husband. They get to enjoy each others company. Then she gets to bed around ten, maybe eleven.

That image I have is so far from me. I fall so short in all areas.

I think as mothers and homemakers, we feel like we need to "have it together" at all times. At. All. Times. I feel that way often, daily even. It comes from keeping up appearances. On Sundays, everyone puts on their Sunday clothes, but most importantly their Sunday faces. We smile and look happy. Greeting each other with hugs or handshakes. We make small talk and act like everything is fine. Our marriages look perfect. Our children are expected to behave. We want our clothes to reflect what we think others expect. Am I right? We are expected to have well-behaved kids. We are expected to keep a perfect home. We are expected to be beautiful all the time.

Fellow homemakers and mother, let me tell you something. When you give up those expectations, it is so freeing! I definitely do not have it together most of the time. My laundry piles up. The dishes always need doing. My room looks like it did when I was a kid, like a tornado went through it, mainly because that's where we live when I'm sick. I look like a mess most of the time in comparison to the ladies from church. Granted, we have a very different belief and understanding about what marriage is and how it should look, so I'm thankful for that lack of the "perfect wife" expectation on my husband's part (I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have a man like that).

"For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ."  Galatians 1:10

I always think about that verse when I'm considering the pressures of motherhood and marriage. Of course, those pressures are generally those I put on myself or what others expect of me (or what I think they expect of me).

Keely and Mommy over a year ago

I believe in being good stewards, however, I do not worry over my house's state all the time. For example, I haven't swept my floor since Wednesday morning. The only laundry I've done until today for the past week was the diapers, and that was only because I ran out of them (the girls woke up and only two diapers were in the closet). I haven't cooked much this week (and I was met with complaints about the rice and beans I made). However, my kids are fed and mostly clean at the end of the day. My house isn't falling apart, even though it has toys everywhere. My kids are happy, and even though my husband isn't pleased with me all the time, he's fed, clothed, and has a home that is at least functioning.

Are we supposed to "have it all together"? I don't think so. It's a perception that women have. It's almost as though it's a competition. We have this idea of what the perfect mother is. I hope that as I write and share my short comings and my willingness to admit them, that you will see that no one is perfect but that's what grace is for. That's what God is for.

What's Important

Today was a great day, until Mommy got overwhelmed.

We spent the morning with friends and the folks that are leading Backyard Bible Club.

We took naps, which one of the kidlets didn't listen so he's tired.

Then we went to the store. Everything fell apart.

Some things happened at home that had nothing to do with the kids...those things set me off.

After our completely healthy dinner of cookies and corn dogs, Mommy swept the floors and read a book to Zach. Why? Because this lady needed an attitude adjustment. Reading a store is far more important than sweeping my kitchen anyway.

Three of what really matters

I won't go into details, but I really am tired of being the only homemakers here. I'm tired of cooking and cleaning. I'm tired of planning everything and not having help. Parenting and caring for my kids isn't always easy, but I always feel fulfilled.


So, tonight, I will focus on being the best Mommy I can be. Zachary thanked my tonight for dinner. That meant the world to me since no one, and I mean no one, thanks me for feeding them unless we're hosting a meal for friends. Zachary, you are so welcome sweet boy. Thank you for eating corn dogs and cookies with your Mommy. I really enjoyed sharing in songs with you.

This Mothering Journey

I have been a mother for about 5.5 years. Sure, it doesn't sound like very long, but I've had four children in that time and am expecting our fifth in late October or early November. In those short years, I've gained a lot of mothering experience.



I've learned that there are just some times silly pictures have to be taken...ok, at our house, A LOT of times when they must be taken.

Some times, your daughter is just going to cry when you say no. It's okay, she'll learn and get over it. Other times, you will sit and cuddle her and tell her it's okay. There will always be someone who does it better, faster, more patiently, has a cleaner house, a better car/van, more kids, better behaved kids...the list goes on forever. 

One day you'll wake up and they're eighteen...or four.

The number one thing I've learned is that we are all at different points on our mothering journey. I have several friends with one or two children who are the same age as some of my kids (I'm not friends with anyone with more than two children). It's hard for them to imagine having more than what they have because they struggle so much with one or two. Many don't take me up on offers to help them because I have four and it must be so difficult.

Some times, it's worth letting her mop the drive in the rain

We are all at different points in mothering. At this point in my life, it isn't as hard as many think it is. In fact, I think this point is easier than it was when I had two. Yes, there is always something I could clean, a fight to break up, an owie to fix, a baby to nurse, a meal to fix, a basket of laundry, or something else to do, but that's how life is. It won't be like this for long so I'm going to love the busy-ness and loudness of it all.

Take heart, overwhelmed mother! While you feel overwhelmed, it is only a short time. It's okay to ask for help and take advantage when others offer. It's hard when you're in the trenches. It's hard when everyone is telling you how they parent or stare when you're three year old throws a tantrum in the store, but you are the parent and you are doing the best you can. It's okay to lock yourself in the bathroom for a few minute, if everyone is safe, or to go cry in your room. Your kids will be fine. 

That is me, sleeping, holding our youngest daughter when she was a couple weeks old.
After putting Keely to bed, we fell asleep on the living room furniture while Daddy was playing softball.
Overwhelmed? That doesn't even start to tell you what I was. :)

A Long, Fulfilling Day

Yesterday the kids and I woke up at 7am. Not early but not late either. Well, that's not true. It was late. I needed to get everyone dressed and fed by 7:25 so we could be in the car by 7:30am. I did it, but they ate in the car. Mommy didn't have time for anything carb free, so Mommy didn't eat.

We went to my endocrinology appointment, which is about an hour away (that's why the 7:30 deadline was set). No real update here. My numbers are good, highs here and there along with lows, but my A1C was 6.4, so I'm happy. We discussed my diet a little bit since I have been having cravings for fruit (bananas especially). One a day, half in the morning and half for an afternoon snack was the agreement.  I was so thankful that she didn't change my meds. I fight cravings daily, but I know I can say no. Am I strong enough is the question. My pump settings are correct. My food consumption is wrong. I'm working on that.

Back to the day! I told the kids (yes all four came with) if they were good and listened at my appointment, that we could go to Backyard Bible Clubs at their friends house afterward. So, we flew to get on post in time. We were a few minutes late, but it didn't matter. Everyone had a blast! At first the boys were not having it, but when story time came around and I made them sit with me, they got into it. Talking about Jesus just made them happy and excited. I'm so proud!

After that, Speech. Zach is in Speech therapy for some process issues, but he's come so far! Many people still have difficulty understanding him when he's excited, but he is doing much better than two years ago, or even a year ago. Everyone appreciates that help we receive at therapy. Anyway, speech was chaos. Everyone was tired, it was 1:00pm and past nap time. We managed to stay awake on the way home and take naps once home.

Pest guy came at 4:00pm. Everyone woke up at 5:00pm. Pool right after waking up. Dinner...well, that didn't happen until after pool and showers. The pool pumps failed yesterday so it smelled like a lake. Showers were needed. We didn't eat until 8:00pm. That's okay. Bedtime wasn't until 10:00pm last night, but I was totally okay with that. Daddy didn't feel well so he went to bed shortly after dinner, but we played with blocks and read several stories before climbing in bed to look at our own books independently.

It was a packed, but blessed day! We are going back to Backyard Bible Clubs again today, despite the lack of fuel funds. God will provide if it's important.

On Having More Than One (or Two) Children

When I'm out and about with all four, or even three, of the kids, a lot of people comment on having my hands full or that I never have a dull moment. I mean A LOT of people, nearly everyone who sees us. I normally smile and say "yes, thank you." I take a sense of pride in having my brood running around my cart and my ability to stay cool (God is so good at teaching us patience. Can I get an Amen?).

Friends and acquaintances also ask how I do it with four kids when they struggle with one or two often. One of my dear friend has two and says that they have agreed to have as many children as the Lord will bless them with. She does admit that she's not sure how she will handle it, which I think is amazing. She and I both know that large families aren't for everyone, but I know it is for us and they know that God will bless them as much as He sees fit.

Here's what I think, and I know you've heard part of this before. First and foremost, parents of two wanting more, transitioning from one to two children is more difficult than transitioning to larger numbers. After our second baby, I realized, even though our oldest was high demand due to medical problems, that it was so easy having one...in hindsight. While you are in the trenches, it's tough and I will never deny that. I just want all parents to see hope and joy in their situation. You'll look back on having one child and wonder why you thought it was so difficult. I did for about 18 months, until number three was born. Now, I look back and look at our present circumstances, and I see how silly I was and how "easy" it is even with four.

Second, for most people, after a certain number of children, you don't see having more children as more of a real challenge. That number for us was three...with our third and fourth time, we became parents who were thinking, why not have more? What's another children? A HUGE blessing, that's what! You see, once you organize and focus on loving your children, you realize that it's not a scary burden. The Lord will not give you more than HE can handle, and He will help you handle it too!

A battle we don't pick, playing in the rain versus staying clean and dry.
Rain wins hands down.

Third, it doesn't have to be a battle between you and your kids. We are to be teaching our children how to live according to the Lord's will and blessing. Let me tell you all a secret...my kids and I fight, a lot. We are a loud family, so the fights get louder. My sons are great noise makers and they are great yellers. Let me tell you, when they are angry they let you know. I am hopeful though, that we will all learn to control our anger and frustration and use our big boy (and girl) words and voices to express ourselves. Instead of battling, teach your kids how to express themselves in ways that don't make it a battle. Also, pick your battles. My kids get away with a lot when I'm sick because, let's face it, I'm lucky if I can change the girls' diapers before losing my lunch. Sometimes, the boys duke it out on the floor in front of me until I think it's getting out of control or unsafe. No one ever gets hurt, but I want them to figure things out on their own, especially when I'm glued to the toilet. Guess what, your child saying no, while disrespectful, doesn't have to be a battle. My kids express their opinion all the time. They are told that we are so glad they feel they can tell us how they feel, but they will do what they are told. A fight some time follows, if it does, a break in their room is needed to think about if they really want to fight with Mommy or Daddy. After a few minutes, a more thoughtful little boy comes down and does as he's told (or he fall asleep in his room and an hour later the thoughtful and rested boy comes down). Life is already full of battles. Don't make your home a constant battlefield for the ones who should feel safest there.

Motherhood is Messy...but it's worth waiting to clean some messes...it's worth
it...every...single...time

Fourth, you probably won't have a clean house when you have more children...and guess what...that's fine! For years, I struggled with the pressure of maintaining a clean house. As the number of our children increased, so did my stress and struggle. I happened to find a blog somewhere along the way, in the past year, and found that what the woman wrote was so freeing. She was a mother of a large family who really knows what's important. Summarizing, when you have a large family, you will have a messy house. That doesn't mean it's filthy, just that it's not spotless. Ready for my confessions? I don't mop my floor but maybe once every 3 or 4 days, except the dining room. That happens every night after dinner because our sweet baby girl throws food on it. I don't sweep under my sofa ever day and I only sweep once a day. Our toy room gets picked up every other day (if I'm lucky), the laundry some times just has to wait. Why does all this stuff wait? Well, because I love my kids and understand that love doesn't need a clean house. About 9 months ago, I told my husband that he had to accept that this house wasn't ever going to be clean. I wanted happy kids, not a clean house (truth be told, I'd love a clean house too, but that's not as important as my kids). As the kids get older, I definitely will expect my house to get cleaner as we teach them responsibility. They will clean and tidy and do their part, but as they are still to young to do many things, that house is a mess and thats just fine...as long as when you come over you don't mind the mess. Remember, Motherhood is messy. But some messes just have to wait when everyone is headed to the pool, or the couch for story time, or the toy room for Army men wars...it's worth it to make those memories...every...single....time. The mess will be there later to clean up. Those memories may not.

I have so many more points I could highlight, but as it is, I have spent long enough writing and I highlighted the four main things I feel people need to know. Above all else, I hope you will be thankful for the children the Lord blesses you with and that you will treasure the time He gives you to love them!

What are your thoughts on having more than one child? Or more than two? What's a large family in your mind?

Learning to Eat to Live, Not Live to Eat

As a diabetic, people assume I eat well. Well meaning healthfully. Hello...people? I do not eat well. I eat more than I should, consume more carbs than I should, and I do it more often than I'd like to admit. In other words, I love food and have to work hard to not make my life about eating. I could go into the family history of a love affair with food, but I'll spare you my excuses. Excuses are just reasons you have found to be lazy or to blame someone else for your inability to change...at least for me they are.

This cake is why I don't make their cakes from scratch any more.
I ate half...by myself. Such a bad diabetic, but it was so good.

This week I'm focusing on those cues that tell you when you're actually hungry. Funny, huh? With all the food in the States, who thinks about actually being hungry? Do you remember what that feels like?Yeah, I do when I'm pregnant. It's called morning sickness. However, other than that, I haven't really felt real hunger pains in a long time. There's always something to eat or snack on. No more!

We already eat as much unprocessed, whole foods as we can afford. This month, our food budget was $200. That's for 6 people. Some how, we've not only done it but we've done it well. In addition to trying to keep food low cost and unprocessed, I have to try to keep everything low carb. That's easy, right? Just buy meats and veggies. Have you ever lived on just meat and vegetables for a long period of time? And I mean, no pasta or bread. No starchy "veggies" like corn, peas, or potatoes. It gets boring and expensive.

What am I hoping to learn this week, after I splurged on some homemade granola? I want to eat because I need to, not simply because I want something. So, I'll cook what I normally do for everyone else. I will just be cooking an addition portion of meat for me (or other protein source). It will be hard and I'll have cravings, but in those moments, perhaps I need to pray. I'll write and photograph through this week so you can see what progress I have or haven't been making.

The First Day Prep

On Monday, I decided that I was ready. While all of my little ran around in the toy room/guest room, I sat down with a bunch of resources and tried working out what we were going to do for schooling. I had purchased some Alpha Omega curriculum in the spring when it was on sale. I had originally planned on using their Lifepacs for kindergarten, but that style of learning just doesn't work for him. He's not a master it and done kind of guy. Instead, I'm using the Horizons curriculum as a the base, but not strictly. Both boys will be starting with kindergarten and they both learn slightly differently. Knowing that, I wanted to have a central curriculum for the boys that I could adapt for each other them. I printed off these nifty A-Z Handwriting worksheets from Confessions of a Homeschooler for each of the kids to use. I also found some number ones with different themes online (and of course, I cannot find the site I used now). 

Since my boys are busy boys, I'm adapting a lot of the lessons to be more physical. We will be moving and playing a lot because they learn best when they're moving. I know this isn't how most people teach their boys, but I don't want to set them up for frustration and failure. I will teach them to sit still for their schooling, but right now, that's not my goal. It is to teach them to read and write and basic math skill. I think it will be best for everyone in this house if we do that by integrating games and play into learning. 

I have my planner set for the first week to see how it goes. I'll evaluate after that week and then change what needs changing. We're starting on Monday...I'm hopeful that the boys will like it and that we can make it fun and engaging. 

*Note that these are NOT affiliated links...just crediting people who deserve it.   :)

The First Hockey Practice

Zach is 5

Asher is 4

They started hockey Sunday with Daddy's help. Yes, they can barely skate, but they loved it! The head coach loved seeing them on the ice too. So where will we be every Sunday? No, not at church. We'll be at hockey practice. Why? Because life is too short to let this passion pass by. We don't know how long Zach will be able to play contact sports, so it's completely worth giving him every change to skate and play.

Getting tips from Daddy

Before you judge us, we are going to have church on Sundays as well. We will just start doing it at home. I grew up with several friends who did church in each others homes. Why can't we do that? So that's our plan...we will do church at home on Sundays and Wednesday evening at a church this fall for the social side of church. We're excited!

When you fall, you have to get back up!

Getting My OB Care Off Post

I delivered Ziva via C-section at a university hospital where we live. When I found out I was expecting again, I assumed that I would get sent their for my care again. That hadn't happened and seemed to be a fight until last Thursday. The head nurse of the "high risk" side of the OB clinic on post asked me why I didn't try to transfer up to the University hospital. I told her was I had tried and she said she'd talk to the boss. She literally walked right into his office and spoke with him while I was sitting in the hallway getting my vitals done.

After a few more conversations, she let me know that I would be seen off base, but it would take time as the civilians on base aren't working after 3pm or at all on Fridays due to the budget cuts. Yes, they're all very sad. So, here we are. Waiting for the referral stating every reason why TriCare needs to allow me to be seen up at the university. My favorite being, I request being at the highest level NICU should the baby need it. If we're going to do it, we're going to do it all the way. Plus, they won't lecture me about having too many babies or the risks with diabetes.

So, I won't been seen for about a month (Yay!) and then I'll do my in-take at the university. Maybe we'll be able to discuss the long-shot VBA3C? We shall see.


Anyone have any good ideas for a picture for my pregnancy related posts?

Common Family Questions

As the mother of 4, soon to be 5, children, in less than 6 years, I get some really interesting and rude comments and questions. Some still disturb me. Others make me giggle. After talking to other moms and my husband, I decided to share a little bit about how we handle the questions people ask and assumptions people make.

Asher helping Ziva play in the puddle

The most common is, "how many children are you guys going to have?" I get this question a lot. I mean, a lot...every time people see us out, a lot. My husband and I had struggled for some time with how to answer this question. After 4 years of being parents and leaving children up to the Lord, and two or three months of discussion, we have finally come up with an answer that we are comfortable telling people. Our answer is very simple, We are leaving that up to God. I am a diabetic and that answer doesn't sit well with many people, especially my family. I know that they are only concerned about my health, but it still is hard when your own family doesn't understand. We, as a couple and a family, have come to a place where we feel that the Lord deserves the chance to control our family size and we have chosen to accept His blessings cheerfully and lovingly. So, how many children are we going to have? We don't know, but we are open to as many as the Lord sees to bless us with. 

Boys Playing with Strollers While
Waiting for A Hockey Tourney to Start

Another one I started getting with our fourth child is, "you must be rich!" Ha! Ha! Sorry, I laugh only because we are far from rich. Some months we barely scrape by. Other months, we have lots of room in the budget. One of the first times I heard this was at a clinic for my oldest son's heart. The nurse asked how many kids I had, as I only have two with me. I told her four with one on the way and she stared at me for a second then assumed, out loud, that we must be rich. I laughed a little, and said, "Please, we are a family of 6 on a Specialist's pay. We are far from rich!" Since then, I have revised my answer. I've heard it several more times since then. Now, I tell people that we are rich in love. Most people don't know how to answer to that, so they don't talk to me any more. Oh well. We are and I'm not afraid to tell people that. 

"Are all these yours?" This one has been coming at me since I have my third child, which surprised me. Three just didn't seem like a lot. I guess they were close together, but still. There is a song out there by Rodney Adkins called, He's Mine. I really like that song and I think of it every time people ask me that question. Like he says in the song, "I'll take the blame and claim him (in my case, them) every time. Yeah, ya'll he's mine." When people ask me this question, I claim them all with a huge smile on my face and tell that person that they are all mine and I can't wait for more blessings.

"You know how that happens, right?" We heard this from my husband's cousins wife when I was pregnant with our second, 6 months after I had our first. Let me tell you, I hate this one. No, I still haven't figured it out...duh! I know how it happens. If I'm bold enough, some day I'll tell some one that I do know how it happens and that my husband and I rather enjoy it. For now, I tell them that we are very blessed and hope that we will be blessed with more.

Boys wrestling with Wreck It Ralph gloves

"You must be very patient." Yeah, when I'm sleeping...no, I'm not patient. It's one of those things I really struggle with. I have a hot temper, a quick fuse, and four kids who know how to get a reaction. Yes, I have patient days. I also have days where I have no patience at all. Someone once told me that God doesn't give us patience. He gives us opportunities to practice patience. I completely agree. "No, I'm not patient or a saint. I just have a lot of chances to learn to be patient."

It rained for two day...

Mommy thought, why not let Zach steer through the yard...

We got stuck...my fault completely, but the kids were so excited
about getting stuck and getting unstuck because they did all the work.

Those are some of the many things that we are told often or asked on a regular basis. Some are funny, some are rude. What are some things you are asked regularly?

Thrifty Finds

With as little as I try to spend, you might be surprised to hear that I haven't been inside a thrift store in a solid year. I shop mainly at consignment sales that come around every 6 months or so. Other than that, if it's a need, it's cheaper to just go get it from the store new than to shop around looking at garage sales and thrift stores. Plus, I might go crazy if I go too often with how today went. Anyways, we found some sweet deals.

Pillow Pets

My kids love those pillow pets that are all over kids TV these days. They have "mini" ones, but I found some big ones for about a quarter of the regular price. Not great, but better than I was hoping for when I planned on getting them for Christmas.

Triple Stroller

I found a triple stroller, something I've been looking for since I have Keely nearly 3 years ago. It was listed at $220 in the tag, but there was a sale. A serious sale...75% off. I paid $55 for that stroller. If I don't like it, I'll sell it later to someone who actually will use it or need it.

We found a nice skirt for Keely as well, though I don't have a picture of that. There were also some knick-knacks and such, but nothing too exciting.

How about you? Are you a hard core thrift store shopper or garage saler? Or are you like me and only go when you're needing something that costs a lot? Is it worth it for you either way?

Welcome

Hello Everyone who mistakenly finds this blog! This is the new place for this mommy to share all things I feel need to be shared. It will take a few days or weeks to get up and running, but I hope it's worth it in the end.

Give me tips! Give me ideas! Let me know your thoughts so I can share what's important to you.