Week 33-34 Update

Well, I had another OB appointment, which happened to be the same day as my growth ultrasound. It took 6 hours to get to the doctors office and home, but that's alright. My sitter was late, so it wasn't my fault. I'm just thankful I had a sitter.

It was tough news for me to hear. Baby is growing "normally", which is awesome new. However, his head is measuring 5 weeks ahead of the estimated due date they have on file (so between 3-4 weeks ahead of the due time frame I came up with). I'm worried about VBA3C anyway, but his head size doesn't make me feel any more confident.

Physically, I'm exhausted. I'm having contractions all the time. One night, I woke up in so much pain from them I grabbed my husband and forced myself to focus on breathing. They eventually went back to what they normally are, but I was rather worried for awhile. It takes a lot for me to go in. I only went in when my water broke with my last baby. I had probably been in real labor for a solid 18 hours before  making it to the hospital at 6-7cm. Who knows, if I go into labor early, I might just end up at a local hospital needing transport to my delivering hospital. Or, if God willed it, I could deliver in our garden bath tub. No big deal, right? That would be a birth story!

My kids are doing well. They are all getting excited. Even Ziva pats my tummy and says "baby" when she sees me. It's super sweet. Daddy is stressing out, but only because he's in school right now. He graduates on October 3. We're super excited...though he has to get his scores up if he hopes to make his career what he wants. He doesn't want to settle, but he's got work hard for it. I'll be editing papers last minute I'm sure. :)

My mom quit her job this week and will be driving from the Midwest to North Carolina to help me with the kids for the last 4-5 weeks I'm pregnant and until I'm healed. She sounds very excited! I need someone here in case I go into labor early as Daddy doesn't have the ability to leave work or miss work, even for a baby. Sad story, I know...not really. I had Ziva completely by myself, so I'm not concerned. Babies are born everyday without their Daddy there. Wives have babies without husbands. I've already had two births without my husband, one completely alone (after sitting in traffic for 4 hours waiting for an accident to clear, just 8 miles from the hospital).

Prayer Requests: VBA3C still...the staff at the hospital is completely against it. The ultrasound tech said they would require me to have a c-section if I came to the hospital I'm at and the OB still says he wants to do a c-section. I'm frustrated and really not sure what to do. Maybe I should write a letter of intent to VBA3C...we'll see. I'm not even sure what I would write in it. Any ideas? Pray please. Above all else, for peace. I trust the God will provide for our needs and for our situation as He always has. I just need peace and my husband needs peace.

Stinky Cloth Diaper Fix

Over the past 7 months, I have noticed that the cloth diapers I've been using for over a year have started to hold onto their stink...especially the poopy ones. Icky! I thought I knew all I needed to know about stripping the diapers. Boy was I wrong! Yesterday, in yet another internet search for answers, I found a blog that had what I had never heard before. It was eye opening! Of course, I cannot find the blog or the information anywhere in my phone or computer web history, so I'm just going to share it. If you find it, please contact me so I can credit this brilliant woman who opened my eyes!

For years, I've cloth diapered. Using homemade detergent that worked well for my kidlets sensitive skin and getting clothing clean. It worked well for everything, including diapers. I had to change from that detergent about two months ago when my youngest began breaking out with this horrid rash where the diapers covered. I went back to the ever expensive Tide...I hate paying so much, but if it works, it works. Yes, I use it for the diapers and have no real problem. I use less than recommended and rinse each load 5 times (with my washer, it takes about 4.5 hours to wash a load of diapers (3-4 days worth). I began rinsing with vinegar when my friend gave me instructions after I purchased my first diapers from her. It worked well, until about 6 months ago.

The diapers, up until this spring, held onto their ammonia stink, which I could handle. I just rinsed with vinegar again and continued on with my day. Fourish months ago, they started to hold onto everything...it smelled like I hadn't even washed them! It was frustrating and I was ready to go back to disposable as I could not handle the stink being pregnant and all. Searching and searching had turned up nothing until a very recently. Here's what I found...

Hard water can react with vinegar to make it hold onto stink or create it's own odor. Icky! I didn't know that. I had never heard that! Why did it take years to find that out?! The answer was simple...baking soda. That also explains why the stink got so much worse when I switched back to store bought laundry detergent. I had always used tons of baking soda in my detergent and now, I wasn't using any. My diaper stink problem has been solved. Friends, if you have that stink that you can't get rid of, strip the diapers, but instead of adding vinegar to the rinse, add baking soda. I guess on the amount. I don't even measure when I cook, so laundry is no different. I would suggest you experiment with amounts until you find what works for you.

My Diaper Washing Process:

1. Throw diapers (icky stuff removed of course) into the washing machine
2. Wash the load with hot water (my washer does not have the "hot water rinse option", but a hot wash works fine) and whatever soap you use for your diapers (I used homemade, but currently use Tide Free & Clear, or whatever it's called)
3. Rinse two more times, I have an HE washer so it's a small amount of water for me, not sure if you have to rinse extra, but I like to ensure no build up
4. For the final rinse, add baking soda (instead of the classic vinegar)

I do wash my diapers once, rinse 3-4 times, then line dry. It is a process and most other people don't do this much with their diapers. I just hate stink and would rather have it clean than stinky. If you want some other information on cloth diapers and cloth diaper care, feel free to search for it. I did for years and still do. The information is just waiting for you!

Mommy's Bad Day

Do you ever have those days? The ones where life just sucks?

Well, one day last week was one of those days for me. I didn't sleep well because I'm basically in labor but not progressing, which is a good thing at this point. So, I was tired.

Then there was the water and ice that was spilled in the car all over the only diapers I brought with us and the pillow his sister loves.

Speech was filled with no listening skills. Naps was much the same.

Bed time was the only highlight of the day, but as I sat in my bed listening to them chatter, I relished in it. The kids were all staying in their beds, even 18 month old Ziva. Calling for Mom, but not getting out of bed. That hasn't happened in over 2 years. Normally, I have to lay in their room with them or fold laundry outside their door to get them to stay in bed. Nope, not last night. Sleep came easy and quickly to me bunch last night. For that, I am thankful.

So thankful for God's promises and forgiveness.

Today is a new day. I will rejoice and be glad in everything, even the water sitting in the cup holder that I have yet to clean up.

Weeks 30 & 31 Pregnancy Update

I skipped the last 3-4 weeks as not much is going on pregnancy wise. I'm getting huge, but I'm not hungry all the time any more. I'm hoping that means I won't gain tons of weight. That is always a concern for my dietician and endocrinologist. I normally lose weight when I'm pregnant. This time, I've gained a whole 10 pounds...shocking, I know. My first I gained 12 and lost it when he was born. My second, gained 15 and lost that plus 5 before leaving the hospital. Third, I broke even, gaining 10, losing 10. Fourth, I gained 17, but I lost 20. With her, however, I overate, trying to keep my milk supply up and ended up gaining 10 pound between birth and 11 month old. This time, I'm hoping to break even and get down to pre-marriage weight before the next baby, God willing.

It's busy with the four kids and being this far along, but I love it! My kids are a handful, but they are such a joy and I wouldn't trade my life for anything else. Zach and Asher are getting very excited to meet their newest sibling. Every time I go to any doctor, they ask if the doctor is going to take the baby out this time. There is an overwhelming sadness for them when I tell them not this time.

Birth planning is seeming like a constant battle. I really want this VBA3C. It's hard to explain to the doctors why, but they can't force me to have another scheduled c-section. If this beautiful little one decides to come before my 39 week c-section, which I am praying for, I will be trying a VBA3C...which means I will be laboring in a bed hooked up to constant monitors to watch for the uterine rupture or other "distressing" signs. Not ideal, but if God blesses me with the chance, I know I can do it.

I am still nursing and plan to continue to until Ziva is either two year old or not interested. I'm guessing she'll want to nurse until she's two. So, I'll start to completely ween after Christmas. I am hoping that continuing to nurse will help her adjust to not being the baby any more. Keely didn't do so well, so I'm really looking for something to help make it easier.

Not much else is going on in our home these days. Daddy, Lord willing, will not be here much for the next four weeks. We are praying he'll be finishing up his final school before a possible deployment and a promotion. We'd appreciate prayers for peace in this situation and that God would allow Daddy to get into this class. We are up against the re-enlistment deadline and are hoping to get to a real unit before having to sign again. Please, pray. We need lots of prayer for peace more than anything.

Blessings to you all!

Birth Plans: VBA3C?

I have four children so far. Three of them have come into this world via c-section. With my last baby, I didn't know I had the option to VBA2C. If I had, I might have tried, even though she was 11 pounds. :)  This time around, I am really praying about a VBA3C. It's something I have desired for years but have been unable due to medical teams who push for repeat c-sections and large or breech babies. If this little one isn't "huge", then I'll try laboring and if all goes "normally" I hope to deliver vaginally.

As I am seen at a University hospital, they don't have a written policy on VBACs. They encourage it if a woman has had one c-section. They start to question after two. My case, a diabetic with a history of large babies and three c-sections, they start to sweat. I asked my doctor about it on Tuesday when I was seen for a fetal-echo. He started sweating trying to tell me he was completely against it but that he can't force me to have a repeat c-section. The medical student with him was in awe that I would even ask.

Right now, we are in a wait and see mode. I'm prayerfully considering what might be in God's plans for us. I want a natural, vaginal deliver so badly. At the same time, I am not opposed to another c-section. I explained it to my husband this way, as a woman, I feel this longing to have a natural deliver. At the same time, whatever gets baby out healthfully and keeps me around to care for my family, I'm ok with. I don't need to have one kind of delivery. I have several children that need me, a husband who wants me around, and I'm not afraid of surgery (if I were, I wouldn't be pregnant again as I didn't know VBA3C was an option until researching).

As I continue my research on the topic, I will hopefully have enough energy and sanity to keep up with blogging so I can share the information I find with all of you. It is so hard to find good information and facts on VBA3+C or even VBA2+C. It even harder to find stats when you throw in diabetes. Much of what I hope to share will be for "regular", non-diabetic moms because it is so hard to find facts and numbers.

If you wouldn't mind, please pray for me and our family as we make preparations for this little ones arrival. I'm not due until November 8, but I am praying for peace and wisdom and am asking everyone to do the same. God is in control. I just need to trust that this baby will come as He sees fit, not me. :)

27 Weeks

I am 27 weeks along today! Happy 27 weeks!

Photo Credit

We do know what we're having, but we are not sharing names. We will announce once this sweet little one arrives!

That really isn't much to report. I have been having regular contractions for 7 weeks now, just like the last three pregnancies. My blood sugars have been running a bit higher than anyone would like the last week, so I'm sure adjustments will come soon. I feel great, except for complete body muscle failure when I get to the top of the stairs, but I've had tests and nothing is wrong. So, I just take stairs easy and rest once reaching the top.

Baby is doing well. Everything is wear it should be and everything looks normal. Baby is even showing the right size for gestational age, which is always nice. :) I can tell when baby sleeps and wakes because of the constant movement when I'm resting and no movement when I'm moving. Zach likes to sit and watch or feel baby move. He asked me to go to the "baby doctor" and have him take the baby out so he can see Baby now. I don't think the kids really grasp the concept of waiting for baby to be ready.

That's about all of an update there is for now. A quiet pregnancy is a good pregnancy, right? I do have lots of uncomfortable and unpleasant pregnancy symptoms, but I've had them since baby 2, so I'm a bit used to them.

Three More Months! We're all getting excited!

Having It All Together

A dear friend of mine wrote me a text the other afternoon that caught me off guard. "I feel like I don't have it together." Simple. Short. Something I've heard before many times. I've also felt it many times. I'm not sure why that day was different. Having it all together? Does she think I do? What does that even look like?

My idea of a perfect mom is the woman who gets up early and makes breakfast and cleans up afterwards without complaints. She then gets everyone dressed and ready for the day, after sweeping her floor of course. Then, she sits everyone down for Bible time and/or school time. For lunch, she makes something "hot" and healthy. She can get her little ones down for naps with ease, or at least patience. She spends her afternoon either instructing her kids in their lessons or playing with them. Dinner is always planned weeks in advance and something everyone will eat. Bedtime is easy as her kids are trained to lay in bed (and stay there) until the morning. After all the kids are in bed, she gets to spend time with her husband. They get to enjoy each others company. Then she gets to bed around ten, maybe eleven.

That image I have is so far from me. I fall so short in all areas.

I think as mothers and homemakers, we feel like we need to "have it together" at all times. At. All. Times. I feel that way often, daily even. It comes from keeping up appearances. On Sundays, everyone puts on their Sunday clothes, but most importantly their Sunday faces. We smile and look happy. Greeting each other with hugs or handshakes. We make small talk and act like everything is fine. Our marriages look perfect. Our children are expected to behave. We want our clothes to reflect what we think others expect. Am I right? We are expected to have well-behaved kids. We are expected to keep a perfect home. We are expected to be beautiful all the time.

Fellow homemakers and mother, let me tell you something. When you give up those expectations, it is so freeing! I definitely do not have it together most of the time. My laundry piles up. The dishes always need doing. My room looks like it did when I was a kid, like a tornado went through it, mainly because that's where we live when I'm sick. I look like a mess most of the time in comparison to the ladies from church. Granted, we have a very different belief and understanding about what marriage is and how it should look, so I'm thankful for that lack of the "perfect wife" expectation on my husband's part (I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have a man like that).

"For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ."  Galatians 1:10

I always think about that verse when I'm considering the pressures of motherhood and marriage. Of course, those pressures are generally those I put on myself or what others expect of me (or what I think they expect of me).

Keely and Mommy over a year ago

I believe in being good stewards, however, I do not worry over my house's state all the time. For example, I haven't swept my floor since Wednesday morning. The only laundry I've done until today for the past week was the diapers, and that was only because I ran out of them (the girls woke up and only two diapers were in the closet). I haven't cooked much this week (and I was met with complaints about the rice and beans I made). However, my kids are fed and mostly clean at the end of the day. My house isn't falling apart, even though it has toys everywhere. My kids are happy, and even though my husband isn't pleased with me all the time, he's fed, clothed, and has a home that is at least functioning.

Are we supposed to "have it all together"? I don't think so. It's a perception that women have. It's almost as though it's a competition. We have this idea of what the perfect mother is. I hope that as I write and share my short comings and my willingness to admit them, that you will see that no one is perfect but that's what grace is for. That's what God is for.