Family Updates

It has been a few years and we have changed and grown a bit, so it's time for an update.

We now have seven children and they range from 11 to 2 years old. There are five sons and two daughters who bless each other with friendship and companionship. They learn from each other constantly and encourage each other as only siblings can. The oldest four often read to the younger three. They also teach them math through play and experience. They all play incredibly well together. Science is a passion for them all. We are constantly learning about creatures (animals), weather, and the natural world around us. They also have a good foundation for their animal knowledge due to having nearly 30 fowl on our small homestead.

As of this post, we have twenty-five chickens and four ducks. Of our chickens, four are roosters and twenty-one are laying hens. We've raised and butchered our own meat chickens, but it was a serious undertaking and they were rather stinky, so I'm not sure we'll do that again soon. It was an adventure and I am thankful for the experience. The kids also got to learn a lot through it as well. It is spring, and the ducks have been laying in a location I can't find, so we may well have ducklings in a few weeks.

We have finally found a church to attend and feel like we finally have planted roots and found friends. Our kids have also started investing in friendships and have blossomed as they have done so.

We are busy, but this season is such a blessing. We are all growing, learning, and changing. We no longer cloth diaper, but we do try to eat as "whole foods" as we can. We're working our way to a debt free lifestyle, but it is definitely a struggle at times.

Now, the answer to everyone's number question: we don't expect to have any more children, but only God knows if we will be blessed again or not.

Blogging Again?

With my life, one can never tell if I'll blog religiously or not. We now have seven children, four of whom are homeschooling. It is a busy season in life, but it is a wonderful season. I have been blogging at another blog, but I think it is time to give each a purpose and time to get things out there. I know that not very many people follow this blog, but maybe it will find someone who needs encouragements and hope for the hard days they're having. I am hoping to spend a few hours a week blogging. Maybe I can get a post up once a week? Who knows. But I will be updating here soon.

What season of life are you in? Are you busy or fairly relaxed? Are you enjoying babies, toddlers, elementary ages, middle schoolers, high schoolers? Or adult children and grandchildren? I'm looking forward to our future while we're in our season of toddlers, preschoolers, and elementary aged kids. Soon enough, we'll have a house full of teens and young adults who will be rushing off to work or church or friends...yes, this busy season is special.

May you feel blessed by the cuddles and wiping noses. May you see the blessing in the needy toddler and upset preschooler. I'm praying for you.

Where Have I Been>

In short, I've been raising 5 kids, homeschooling the oldest 3, spending time with my husband, and trying to clean in my spare time. I've been busy. Where have you been? What have you been up to?

Having 5 children has been such a blessing and a challenge. It's not harder than having 4, but it presents new challenges because the older kids are entering different stages and need different attention. We have adjusted and are getting back to normal. They youngest of the group is almost 10 months old now. He's growing like crazy and changing all the time. He still loves to cuddle and nurse, but has learned how to scale the staircases, crawl around everywhere, pull up on everything, and how to communicate with all those around him. Ziva continues to grow and learn and change. She's 2 now and shows her personality fully. She's sassy and fun loving. She loves trucks and rough housing but also enjoys painted nails and hair clips. Keely is almost 4. She recently got her ears pierced and is so in love with them. She is my girly girl. Skirts, nail polish, earrings...those are all up her ally. Asher is 5 and is our sports guy. Running, jumping, throwing, kicking...it's all for Asher. His real loves are hockey and soccer. Zach is a sensitive heart who wants to be understood and loved. He likes art and drawing. He does enjoy sports, but not like Asher. He's really interested in music right now, so I'm looking for a piano teacher who takes young students. 

Homeschooling is a challenge. It's 90 degrees here by 10am and I have no motivation to do anything! It's horrible. The kids do their lessons but I'm not sure they are remembering it like they should be. I haven't every taught kids before so I don't really know. I guess only time will tell. 

I mainly am just busy living life. I would love to write more, but by the time the day is done, I have no time or energy to write. Honestly, I don't really care to write either. I'm tired and ready to crash by the time everything is done. To me, that means I live a full, abundant life, just what God wants me to do. I am blessed.

Diabetic Mother With "Many" Children

I am a diabetic. I have been since I was 9 year old. That's 18 years. It has been a very hard thing, but I think it can also be viewed as a blessing. I struggle everyday, but the Lord is good and has blessings in this struggle, I'm sure.

I am a mother. I have been for nearly 6 years now. I have had 5 children. My first birth had to be planned to ensure the pediatric hospital that was attached to hospital I was delivering at would have the needed staff on hand. That meant a cardiologist, pediatric cardio-thorasic surgeon, and a number of other staff. I was induced and hated it. I was exhausted and threw up the entire labor and delivery process. My next three were all c-sections because #2 was breech and 11 pounds, #3 was 12 pounds, and #4 was 11 pounds again. My 5th baby was a c-section due to head size (45.2 weeks at time of delivery). :)

I recently had an online conversation with another diabetic I've been friends with for years. She has one daughter and wants to start trying for another one. Her doctors told her they would not give their blessing until her A1C is 7 or below. I had three babies with A1C numbers of 9 or over, thanks to doctors fighting for control of my diabetes. I gave her my advice and blessing, pledging my undying support for her no matter what she decided. She lacks all support except from her husband. Heartbreaking...absolutely heartbreaking. 

That conversation brought to my attention how blessed I truly am. I told the doctors to, basically, go screw themselves and had babies as God has seen fit. He has been so good to me and blessed me with my children. I would consider my children blessings even with birth defects. That fact alone is a gift from God. He allowed me to get diabetes, which I hate, but He has blessed me even with this disease. He took my heart and changed it to trust Him with our family size and fertility. In that step of faith, He met me and my husband and has blessed us, just because He's so good.

We are all at different places in our faith. Not everyone is at a place to trust the Lord with their family size. Not everyone is at a place to stop going to the doctor or to give up medicine (like me, I am not at the place right now and I may never be). The beautiful thing about God is that He meets us where we are. Right now, our family doesn't regularly attend church, but the Lord is always in our hearts, on our lips, and in our lives. Prayer and worship are in our daily life. The Lord understands our situation and blesses us where we are. He meets us where we are. 

My friend, I know you are not at a place to simply let go and trust God, but I pray that He will bless you as you seek Him more and trust His will, even in small ways. Small ways build up to big ways. Trusting God with one pregnancy and one babies's life has lead us to trust Him with our family size and  to five amazing babies! I pray for you daily and my heartbreaks that you are so alone in this moment. From 1200 miles away, let me hug you and love you when you need support. I only have my husband's support as well. It is tough, but you can do it. Have faith, and if you cannot, I will have faith for you. I'm praying for you!

The New Normal

I have five children now. Life is the same as it was before my fifth baby's birth. The only real difference is that I have a baby strapped to me most of the day and I am co-sleeping again and nursing all the time. I nursed Ziva (21 months old) until she was 19 months old, so I nursed almost all of my pregnancy so nursing hasn't really changed. 

Rhett -  2 Days Old

The new normal is better than I could have ever imagined. My baby nurses like a champ, sleeps like a champ as well, and is well loved by all his family. His siblings fight over who gets to hold him and who gets to watch him while Mama runs to the restroom. I sit, watching my kids, all five,  and am completely blown away by God's grace and mercy. He has blessed me more than anyone in my life ever imagine and certainly more than I could have hoped. 

Ziva, the little Mama in our house

We haven't gotten back to homeschooling yet because we've had Grandma and Gran here back to back and nothing gets done when we have family visiting. It's okay. I'm not going to waste their time with family pushing reading and math because I'm told it's more important. We see them for a short time each year. We'll just push school into the summer. 

My cooking has...suffered. We are eating a lot of processed stuff mainly because I've gotten some sweet deals on it and I need the ease of it. Slowly but surely I am getting back to our natural, unprocessed way of life. The real kickoff for that is Thanksgiving. Nothing processed will be at our meal. I cannot wait! We have Gran visiting us (my mother-in-law) and there is a huge surprise in store as well! I am so excited! I hope to have my camera out so I can share photos with you when the surprise is revealed. Did I say I'm so excited?

Daddy playing ball with the boys while Mommy heals

My husband's career has also finally seen progress. He reports to his new unit soon and will finally know what's going on with potential deployments, promotion potential, and reenlistment. After 2 years of training and 3 years of waiting, we are seeing progress! I am praising the Lord for every great thing He has blessed us with. It doesn't seem like much to people in our lives, but it's important to us.

As far as post baby life for me, it's been great. I healed fast. I feel great. I felt great about a week after. I've pushed myself faster, further, and harder after this c-section. At the same time, if I hurt, I stopped. It's been so nice and such a blessing.

Our new normal is great. It's blessed by the Lord and I haven't been this content or happy with life ever.  My husband is seeing success at work, which is a blessing for everyone. The kids are being kids and are blessing me at every turn, even in their anger, exhaustion, and fighting. God is so good to me!

Mommy's Bad Day

Do you ever have those days? The ones where life just sucks?

Well, one day last week was one of those days for me. I didn't sleep well because I'm basically in labor but not progressing, which is a good thing at this point. So, I was tired.

Then there was the water and ice that was spilled in the car all over the only diapers I brought with us and the pillow his sister loves.

Speech was filled with no listening skills. Naps was much the same.

Bed time was the only highlight of the day, but as I sat in my bed listening to them chatter, I relished in it. The kids were all staying in their beds, even 18 month old Ziva. Calling for Mom, but not getting out of bed. That hasn't happened in over 2 years. Normally, I have to lay in their room with them or fold laundry outside their door to get them to stay in bed. Nope, not last night. Sleep came easy and quickly to me bunch last night. For that, I am thankful.

So thankful for God's promises and forgiveness.

Today is a new day. I will rejoice and be glad in everything, even the water sitting in the cup holder that I have yet to clean up.

27 Weeks

I am 27 weeks along today! Happy 27 weeks!

Photo Credit

We do know what we're having, but we are not sharing names. We will announce once this sweet little one arrives!

That really isn't much to report. I have been having regular contractions for 7 weeks now, just like the last three pregnancies. My blood sugars have been running a bit higher than anyone would like the last week, so I'm sure adjustments will come soon. I feel great, except for complete body muscle failure when I get to the top of the stairs, but I've had tests and nothing is wrong. So, I just take stairs easy and rest once reaching the top.

Baby is doing well. Everything is wear it should be and everything looks normal. Baby is even showing the right size for gestational age, which is always nice. :) I can tell when baby sleeps and wakes because of the constant movement when I'm resting and no movement when I'm moving. Zach likes to sit and watch or feel baby move. He asked me to go to the "baby doctor" and have him take the baby out so he can see Baby now. I don't think the kids really grasp the concept of waiting for baby to be ready.

That's about all of an update there is for now. A quiet pregnancy is a good pregnancy, right? I do have lots of uncomfortable and unpleasant pregnancy symptoms, but I've had them since baby 2, so I'm a bit used to them.

Three More Months! We're all getting excited!

Having It All Together

A dear friend of mine wrote me a text the other afternoon that caught me off guard. "I feel like I don't have it together." Simple. Short. Something I've heard before many times. I've also felt it many times. I'm not sure why that day was different. Having it all together? Does she think I do? What does that even look like?

My idea of a perfect mom is the woman who gets up early and makes breakfast and cleans up afterwards without complaints. She then gets everyone dressed and ready for the day, after sweeping her floor of course. Then, she sits everyone down for Bible time and/or school time. For lunch, she makes something "hot" and healthy. She can get her little ones down for naps with ease, or at least patience. She spends her afternoon either instructing her kids in their lessons or playing with them. Dinner is always planned weeks in advance and something everyone will eat. Bedtime is easy as her kids are trained to lay in bed (and stay there) until the morning. After all the kids are in bed, she gets to spend time with her husband. They get to enjoy each others company. Then she gets to bed around ten, maybe eleven.

That image I have is so far from me. I fall so short in all areas.

I think as mothers and homemakers, we feel like we need to "have it together" at all times. At. All. Times. I feel that way often, daily even. It comes from keeping up appearances. On Sundays, everyone puts on their Sunday clothes, but most importantly their Sunday faces. We smile and look happy. Greeting each other with hugs or handshakes. We make small talk and act like everything is fine. Our marriages look perfect. Our children are expected to behave. We want our clothes to reflect what we think others expect. Am I right? We are expected to have well-behaved kids. We are expected to keep a perfect home. We are expected to be beautiful all the time.

Fellow homemakers and mother, let me tell you something. When you give up those expectations, it is so freeing! I definitely do not have it together most of the time. My laundry piles up. The dishes always need doing. My room looks like it did when I was a kid, like a tornado went through it, mainly because that's where we live when I'm sick. I look like a mess most of the time in comparison to the ladies from church. Granted, we have a very different belief and understanding about what marriage is and how it should look, so I'm thankful for that lack of the "perfect wife" expectation on my husband's part (I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have a man like that).

"For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ."  Galatians 1:10

I always think about that verse when I'm considering the pressures of motherhood and marriage. Of course, those pressures are generally those I put on myself or what others expect of me (or what I think they expect of me).

Keely and Mommy over a year ago

I believe in being good stewards, however, I do not worry over my house's state all the time. For example, I haven't swept my floor since Wednesday morning. The only laundry I've done until today for the past week was the diapers, and that was only because I ran out of them (the girls woke up and only two diapers were in the closet). I haven't cooked much this week (and I was met with complaints about the rice and beans I made). However, my kids are fed and mostly clean at the end of the day. My house isn't falling apart, even though it has toys everywhere. My kids are happy, and even though my husband isn't pleased with me all the time, he's fed, clothed, and has a home that is at least functioning.

Are we supposed to "have it all together"? I don't think so. It's a perception that women have. It's almost as though it's a competition. We have this idea of what the perfect mother is. I hope that as I write and share my short comings and my willingness to admit them, that you will see that no one is perfect but that's what grace is for. That's what God is for.

On Having More Than One (or Two) Children

When I'm out and about with all four, or even three, of the kids, a lot of people comment on having my hands full or that I never have a dull moment. I mean A LOT of people, nearly everyone who sees us. I normally smile and say "yes, thank you." I take a sense of pride in having my brood running around my cart and my ability to stay cool (God is so good at teaching us patience. Can I get an Amen?).

Friends and acquaintances also ask how I do it with four kids when they struggle with one or two often. One of my dear friend has two and says that they have agreed to have as many children as the Lord will bless them with. She does admit that she's not sure how she will handle it, which I think is amazing. She and I both know that large families aren't for everyone, but I know it is for us and they know that God will bless them as much as He sees fit.

Here's what I think, and I know you've heard part of this before. First and foremost, parents of two wanting more, transitioning from one to two children is more difficult than transitioning to larger numbers. After our second baby, I realized, even though our oldest was high demand due to medical problems, that it was so easy having one...in hindsight. While you are in the trenches, it's tough and I will never deny that. I just want all parents to see hope and joy in their situation. You'll look back on having one child and wonder why you thought it was so difficult. I did for about 18 months, until number three was born. Now, I look back and look at our present circumstances, and I see how silly I was and how "easy" it is even with four.

Second, for most people, after a certain number of children, you don't see having more children as more of a real challenge. That number for us was three...with our third and fourth time, we became parents who were thinking, why not have more? What's another children? A HUGE blessing, that's what! You see, once you organize and focus on loving your children, you realize that it's not a scary burden. The Lord will not give you more than HE can handle, and He will help you handle it too!

A battle we don't pick, playing in the rain versus staying clean and dry.
Rain wins hands down.

Third, it doesn't have to be a battle between you and your kids. We are to be teaching our children how to live according to the Lord's will and blessing. Let me tell you all a secret...my kids and I fight, a lot. We are a loud family, so the fights get louder. My sons are great noise makers and they are great yellers. Let me tell you, when they are angry they let you know. I am hopeful though, that we will all learn to control our anger and frustration and use our big boy (and girl) words and voices to express ourselves. Instead of battling, teach your kids how to express themselves in ways that don't make it a battle. Also, pick your battles. My kids get away with a lot when I'm sick because, let's face it, I'm lucky if I can change the girls' diapers before losing my lunch. Sometimes, the boys duke it out on the floor in front of me until I think it's getting out of control or unsafe. No one ever gets hurt, but I want them to figure things out on their own, especially when I'm glued to the toilet. Guess what, your child saying no, while disrespectful, doesn't have to be a battle. My kids express their opinion all the time. They are told that we are so glad they feel they can tell us how they feel, but they will do what they are told. A fight some time follows, if it does, a break in their room is needed to think about if they really want to fight with Mommy or Daddy. After a few minutes, a more thoughtful little boy comes down and does as he's told (or he fall asleep in his room and an hour later the thoughtful and rested boy comes down). Life is already full of battles. Don't make your home a constant battlefield for the ones who should feel safest there.

Motherhood is Messy...but it's worth waiting to clean some messes...it's worth
it...every...single...time

Fourth, you probably won't have a clean house when you have more children...and guess what...that's fine! For years, I struggled with the pressure of maintaining a clean house. As the number of our children increased, so did my stress and struggle. I happened to find a blog somewhere along the way, in the past year, and found that what the woman wrote was so freeing. She was a mother of a large family who really knows what's important. Summarizing, when you have a large family, you will have a messy house. That doesn't mean it's filthy, just that it's not spotless. Ready for my confessions? I don't mop my floor but maybe once every 3 or 4 days, except the dining room. That happens every night after dinner because our sweet baby girl throws food on it. I don't sweep under my sofa ever day and I only sweep once a day. Our toy room gets picked up every other day (if I'm lucky), the laundry some times just has to wait. Why does all this stuff wait? Well, because I love my kids and understand that love doesn't need a clean house. About 9 months ago, I told my husband that he had to accept that this house wasn't ever going to be clean. I wanted happy kids, not a clean house (truth be told, I'd love a clean house too, but that's not as important as my kids). As the kids get older, I definitely will expect my house to get cleaner as we teach them responsibility. They will clean and tidy and do their part, but as they are still to young to do many things, that house is a mess and thats just fine...as long as when you come over you don't mind the mess. Remember, Motherhood is messy. But some messes just have to wait when everyone is headed to the pool, or the couch for story time, or the toy room for Army men wars...it's worth it to make those memories...every...single....time. The mess will be there later to clean up. Those memories may not.

I have so many more points I could highlight, but as it is, I have spent long enough writing and I highlighted the four main things I feel people need to know. Above all else, I hope you will be thankful for the children the Lord blesses you with and that you will treasure the time He gives you to love them!

What are your thoughts on having more than one child? Or more than two? What's a large family in your mind?

Common Family Questions

As the mother of 4, soon to be 5, children, in less than 6 years, I get some really interesting and rude comments and questions. Some still disturb me. Others make me giggle. After talking to other moms and my husband, I decided to share a little bit about how we handle the questions people ask and assumptions people make.

Asher helping Ziva play in the puddle

The most common is, "how many children are you guys going to have?" I get this question a lot. I mean, a lot...every time people see us out, a lot. My husband and I had struggled for some time with how to answer this question. After 4 years of being parents and leaving children up to the Lord, and two or three months of discussion, we have finally come up with an answer that we are comfortable telling people. Our answer is very simple, We are leaving that up to God. I am a diabetic and that answer doesn't sit well with many people, especially my family. I know that they are only concerned about my health, but it still is hard when your own family doesn't understand. We, as a couple and a family, have come to a place where we feel that the Lord deserves the chance to control our family size and we have chosen to accept His blessings cheerfully and lovingly. So, how many children are we going to have? We don't know, but we are open to as many as the Lord sees to bless us with. 

Boys Playing with Strollers While
Waiting for A Hockey Tourney to Start

Another one I started getting with our fourth child is, "you must be rich!" Ha! Ha! Sorry, I laugh only because we are far from rich. Some months we barely scrape by. Other months, we have lots of room in the budget. One of the first times I heard this was at a clinic for my oldest son's heart. The nurse asked how many kids I had, as I only have two with me. I told her four with one on the way and she stared at me for a second then assumed, out loud, that we must be rich. I laughed a little, and said, "Please, we are a family of 6 on a Specialist's pay. We are far from rich!" Since then, I have revised my answer. I've heard it several more times since then. Now, I tell people that we are rich in love. Most people don't know how to answer to that, so they don't talk to me any more. Oh well. We are and I'm not afraid to tell people that. 

"Are all these yours?" This one has been coming at me since I have my third child, which surprised me. Three just didn't seem like a lot. I guess they were close together, but still. There is a song out there by Rodney Adkins called, He's Mine. I really like that song and I think of it every time people ask me that question. Like he says in the song, "I'll take the blame and claim him (in my case, them) every time. Yeah, ya'll he's mine." When people ask me this question, I claim them all with a huge smile on my face and tell that person that they are all mine and I can't wait for more blessings.

"You know how that happens, right?" We heard this from my husband's cousins wife when I was pregnant with our second, 6 months after I had our first. Let me tell you, I hate this one. No, I still haven't figured it out...duh! I know how it happens. If I'm bold enough, some day I'll tell some one that I do know how it happens and that my husband and I rather enjoy it. For now, I tell them that we are very blessed and hope that we will be blessed with more.

Boys wrestling with Wreck It Ralph gloves

"You must be very patient." Yeah, when I'm sleeping...no, I'm not patient. It's one of those things I really struggle with. I have a hot temper, a quick fuse, and four kids who know how to get a reaction. Yes, I have patient days. I also have days where I have no patience at all. Someone once told me that God doesn't give us patience. He gives us opportunities to practice patience. I completely agree. "No, I'm not patient or a saint. I just have a lot of chances to learn to be patient."

It rained for two day...

Mommy thought, why not let Zach steer through the yard...

We got stuck...my fault completely, but the kids were so excited
about getting stuck and getting unstuck because they did all the work.

Those are some of the many things that we are told often or asked on a regular basis. Some are funny, some are rude. What are some things you are asked regularly?