Family Updates

It has been a few years and we have changed and grown a bit, so it's time for an update.

We now have seven children and they range from 11 to 2 years old. There are five sons and two daughters who bless each other with friendship and companionship. They learn from each other constantly and encourage each other as only siblings can. The oldest four often read to the younger three. They also teach them math through play and experience. They all play incredibly well together. Science is a passion for them all. We are constantly learning about creatures (animals), weather, and the natural world around us. They also have a good foundation for their animal knowledge due to having nearly 30 fowl on our small homestead.

As of this post, we have twenty-five chickens and four ducks. Of our chickens, four are roosters and twenty-one are laying hens. We've raised and butchered our own meat chickens, but it was a serious undertaking and they were rather stinky, so I'm not sure we'll do that again soon. It was an adventure and I am thankful for the experience. The kids also got to learn a lot through it as well. It is spring, and the ducks have been laying in a location I can't find, so we may well have ducklings in a few weeks.

We have finally found a church to attend and feel like we finally have planted roots and found friends. Our kids have also started investing in friendships and have blossomed as they have done so.

We are busy, but this season is such a blessing. We are all growing, learning, and changing. We no longer cloth diaper, but we do try to eat as "whole foods" as we can. We're working our way to a debt free lifestyle, but it is definitely a struggle at times.

Now, the answer to everyone's number question: we don't expect to have any more children, but only God knows if we will be blessed again or not.

Blogging Again?

With my life, one can never tell if I'll blog religiously or not. We now have seven children, four of whom are homeschooling. It is a busy season in life, but it is a wonderful season. I have been blogging at another blog, but I think it is time to give each a purpose and time to get things out there. I know that not very many people follow this blog, but maybe it will find someone who needs encouragements and hope for the hard days they're having. I am hoping to spend a few hours a week blogging. Maybe I can get a post up once a week? Who knows. But I will be updating here soon.

What season of life are you in? Are you busy or fairly relaxed? Are you enjoying babies, toddlers, elementary ages, middle schoolers, high schoolers? Or adult children and grandchildren? I'm looking forward to our future while we're in our season of toddlers, preschoolers, and elementary aged kids. Soon enough, we'll have a house full of teens and young adults who will be rushing off to work or church or friends...yes, this busy season is special.

May you feel blessed by the cuddles and wiping noses. May you see the blessing in the needy toddler and upset preschooler. I'm praying for you.

Homeschooling Without Curriculum

For those who know me, I homeschool. That's not new. I also "unschool". We live of life of learning. For math, I have started using worksheets so I can assess where my boys are for their testing this summer. For the rest of it, we read or discuss or research as a family right on the spot. Want to know about the weather, drop what you're doing and lets go learn. That storm isn't too bad. Tell me what you see as we stand outside in the pea-size hail (nothing too dangerous though). Those bugs, yeah. Let's look that up. Oh, you're bleeding...ok, yeah, I can explain why your blood is read. Little questions become study opportunities if you let them.

Yesterday, I was sharing with my mom about how we watch "Pocahontas", the Disney one. The kids asked why the Indians and the "pirates" were so angry with each other. Side notes: First, we discussed who the pirates were. Second, I am not offended by being called an Indian and I'm pretty sure neither is my father, nor was my grandma or her mother. Back to the story at hand...my mom asked if I write down what we learn about every day. What? Why had that never occurred to me? We learn all day every day. I never thought to document it. If the school district wanted to see what my kids know, they'd have to sit and quiz them about everything from blood, the Indians, to chickens, to potatoes, to boogers, to diabetes, to guitars, to volcanoes...they would be here all day!

Why don't I document our discussions? It never occurred to me! Why not? Simple! Because it's our life. We discuss everything. I'm not shy about anything. My kids saw something about how male seahorses "give birth" to the babies. They asked if they have the babies how human mommies do (we've discussed those things and honestly, it was totally normal. We aren't afraid to discuss sex with our kids at age appropriate levels at our house. Maybe I should blog about that?). That led to research with everyone around the laptop watching a seahorse birth and discussing how fish lay eggs typically and they get fertilized. Just a normal day at our house.

I do write my own curriculum, but it's not really written. It's just life. If you have a question, let's look it up. We do sit for reading time and math time. We have to work on those as they are fighting me on those things. Science, social studies...those things? That's life! I think if more families lived their lives teaching their kids how to learn instead of focusing on just learning stuff for tests, we might be better off.

No More Cribs...For Now

Cute, isn't he?

At 14 months old, little Rhett is transitioned over to a big boy bed. At night he sleeps in a low twin. For naps, a toddler bed or the twin, where he puts himself. He doesn't roll. He doesn't fall out. He has done very well so far. Oh, and he loves pillows. He finds those suckers in two seconds. 

I know most people keep their kids in a crib as long as possible. Well, you see, Rhett decided to start breaking his. Yes, breaking it. He shakes the bars so hard that they snap. Soooo, off comes the side and a toddler bed we have. He couldn't climb, but breaking was bad enough for me. 

This is what happens when he's in a crib for any amount of time

I've always transitioned my kids early, by 18 months. My first and third were probably right at 18, second earlier around 15, and my fourth was by about 16. I don't see the need to keep them confined. They can walk and are beginning to talk. I'd rather them come find me quietly than cry to wake me. It's easy for us. Well, nap time is not easy. Tears and toys and door kicking. 

Or maybe this is what happens?

My oldest four still need me to sit with them during nap time for their volume level to be quiet enough for others to sleep. It's a joke some times. But, it's a nice rest time for me too. I don't complain. I like my nap time, too. And it usually happens every day. 

So, no more babies in my house for the next 6 months. Yes, the second crib with become the primary now since Toddler Muscle tore his apart. But for now. No cribs thank you. I like it this way.

Santa Who?

We did a very unpopular thing right before Christmas. The week before actually. I had been going back and forth for weeks about Santa. Adults know he's not real, but parents get joy out of lying to their children about his existence. Well, not me. I felt guilty every time the kids talked about this magically man. Finally I couldn't take it. 

"Guys, we have to talk to you about something very important. Mommy and Daddy don't want to lie to you about anything. So we have to tell you something. Santa isn't really. We put your presents out. We buy them and set them up."

One child cried in disbelief. Two looked at me as though they never thought some fat, jolly stranger came into our house. And one, well, he told me he still believed (it took days of explaining to convince him Santa just isn't real). After that, everything else came out.

No tooth fairy either. Mommy sneaks in for your tooth. 

No Easter Bunny, though we never did that. 

No, not even Jack Frost is real (thank you Rise Of The Guardians)

We are a magic free house now...not really. We are an honest house. We realize that our choice is unpopular and many of our friends still do those things, but we feel good about our choice. We are honest about life with our kids. Dogs don't go to heaven people. And my kids will tell you so. They told the cashier the day after Christmas that Santa isn't real and Saint Nicholas is dead. They told the dentist and dental assistant the tooth fairy isn't real and that lying to kids about it is bad. At least my kids are honest. 

I have been worried about them telling other kids that's those "mythical beings" aren't real. I had a friend tell me that she would be upset if my kids told hers. Well, if you want to carry that on, then you better get ready because someone is going to tell them some day. All we can do is tell them that some people carry on this story of Santa (I told them parents just don't want to wrap those presents, which was rather satisfying for them). So far, it's been ok, other than the cashier and the family behind us.

Santa isn't real. The Easter Bunny is a myth. Tooth fairy, not sure why we pay our kids for normal life processes. Jack Frost, a great story and fun character, but no sir. Our house, is not fun any more. Just ask the kids who live here.

Where Have I Been>

In short, I've been raising 5 kids, homeschooling the oldest 3, spending time with my husband, and trying to clean in my spare time. I've been busy. Where have you been? What have you been up to?

Having 5 children has been such a blessing and a challenge. It's not harder than having 4, but it presents new challenges because the older kids are entering different stages and need different attention. We have adjusted and are getting back to normal. They youngest of the group is almost 10 months old now. He's growing like crazy and changing all the time. He still loves to cuddle and nurse, but has learned how to scale the staircases, crawl around everywhere, pull up on everything, and how to communicate with all those around him. Ziva continues to grow and learn and change. She's 2 now and shows her personality fully. She's sassy and fun loving. She loves trucks and rough housing but also enjoys painted nails and hair clips. Keely is almost 4. She recently got her ears pierced and is so in love with them. She is my girly girl. Skirts, nail polish, earrings...those are all up her ally. Asher is 5 and is our sports guy. Running, jumping, throwing, kicking...it's all for Asher. His real loves are hockey and soccer. Zach is a sensitive heart who wants to be understood and loved. He likes art and drawing. He does enjoy sports, but not like Asher. He's really interested in music right now, so I'm looking for a piano teacher who takes young students. 

Homeschooling is a challenge. It's 90 degrees here by 10am and I have no motivation to do anything! It's horrible. The kids do their lessons but I'm not sure they are remembering it like they should be. I haven't every taught kids before so I don't really know. I guess only time will tell. 

I mainly am just busy living life. I would love to write more, but by the time the day is done, I have no time or energy to write. Honestly, I don't really care to write either. I'm tired and ready to crash by the time everything is done. To me, that means I live a full, abundant life, just what God wants me to do. I am blessed.

Diabetic Mother With "Many" Children

I am a diabetic. I have been since I was 9 year old. That's 18 years. It has been a very hard thing, but I think it can also be viewed as a blessing. I struggle everyday, but the Lord is good and has blessings in this struggle, I'm sure.

I am a mother. I have been for nearly 6 years now. I have had 5 children. My first birth had to be planned to ensure the pediatric hospital that was attached to hospital I was delivering at would have the needed staff on hand. That meant a cardiologist, pediatric cardio-thorasic surgeon, and a number of other staff. I was induced and hated it. I was exhausted and threw up the entire labor and delivery process. My next three were all c-sections because #2 was breech and 11 pounds, #3 was 12 pounds, and #4 was 11 pounds again. My 5th baby was a c-section due to head size (45.2 weeks at time of delivery). :)

I recently had an online conversation with another diabetic I've been friends with for years. She has one daughter and wants to start trying for another one. Her doctors told her they would not give their blessing until her A1C is 7 or below. I had three babies with A1C numbers of 9 or over, thanks to doctors fighting for control of my diabetes. I gave her my advice and blessing, pledging my undying support for her no matter what she decided. She lacks all support except from her husband. Heartbreaking...absolutely heartbreaking. 

That conversation brought to my attention how blessed I truly am. I told the doctors to, basically, go screw themselves and had babies as God has seen fit. He has been so good to me and blessed me with my children. I would consider my children blessings even with birth defects. That fact alone is a gift from God. He allowed me to get diabetes, which I hate, but He has blessed me even with this disease. He took my heart and changed it to trust Him with our family size and fertility. In that step of faith, He met me and my husband and has blessed us, just because He's so good.

We are all at different places in our faith. Not everyone is at a place to trust the Lord with their family size. Not everyone is at a place to stop going to the doctor or to give up medicine (like me, I am not at the place right now and I may never be). The beautiful thing about God is that He meets us where we are. Right now, our family doesn't regularly attend church, but the Lord is always in our hearts, on our lips, and in our lives. Prayer and worship are in our daily life. The Lord understands our situation and blesses us where we are. He meets us where we are. 

My friend, I know you are not at a place to simply let go and trust God, but I pray that He will bless you as you seek Him more and trust His will, even in small ways. Small ways build up to big ways. Trusting God with one pregnancy and one babies's life has lead us to trust Him with our family size and  to five amazing babies! I pray for you daily and my heartbreaks that you are so alone in this moment. From 1200 miles away, let me hug you and love you when you need support. I only have my husband's support as well. It is tough, but you can do it. Have faith, and if you cannot, I will have faith for you. I'm praying for you!

The New Normal

I have five children now. Life is the same as it was before my fifth baby's birth. The only real difference is that I have a baby strapped to me most of the day and I am co-sleeping again and nursing all the time. I nursed Ziva (21 months old) until she was 19 months old, so I nursed almost all of my pregnancy so nursing hasn't really changed. 

Rhett -  2 Days Old

The new normal is better than I could have ever imagined. My baby nurses like a champ, sleeps like a champ as well, and is well loved by all his family. His siblings fight over who gets to hold him and who gets to watch him while Mama runs to the restroom. I sit, watching my kids, all five,  and am completely blown away by God's grace and mercy. He has blessed me more than anyone in my life ever imagine and certainly more than I could have hoped. 

Ziva, the little Mama in our house

We haven't gotten back to homeschooling yet because we've had Grandma and Gran here back to back and nothing gets done when we have family visiting. It's okay. I'm not going to waste their time with family pushing reading and math because I'm told it's more important. We see them for a short time each year. We'll just push school into the summer. 

My cooking has...suffered. We are eating a lot of processed stuff mainly because I've gotten some sweet deals on it and I need the ease of it. Slowly but surely I am getting back to our natural, unprocessed way of life. The real kickoff for that is Thanksgiving. Nothing processed will be at our meal. I cannot wait! We have Gran visiting us (my mother-in-law) and there is a huge surprise in store as well! I am so excited! I hope to have my camera out so I can share photos with you when the surprise is revealed. Did I say I'm so excited?

Daddy playing ball with the boys while Mommy heals

My husband's career has also finally seen progress. He reports to his new unit soon and will finally know what's going on with potential deployments, promotion potential, and reenlistment. After 2 years of training and 3 years of waiting, we are seeing progress! I am praising the Lord for every great thing He has blessed us with. It doesn't seem like much to people in our lives, but it's important to us.

As far as post baby life for me, it's been great. I healed fast. I feel great. I felt great about a week after. I've pushed myself faster, further, and harder after this c-section. At the same time, if I hurt, I stopped. It's been so nice and such a blessing.

Our new normal is great. It's blessed by the Lord and I haven't been this content or happy with life ever.  My husband is seeing success at work, which is a blessing for everyone. The kids are being kids and are blessing me at every turn, even in their anger, exhaustion, and fighting. God is so good to me!

Rhett Laze's Birth Story

Rhett Laze - Two Days Old

My fifth child, my third son, was born on October 24, 2013. Why has it taken so long to write a birth story? Well, I haven't been overwhelmed by having a fifth really. I've been overwhelmed by people visiting!  It has been such a gift but has made blogging rather difficult. I think blogging can take a back seat for now.

So here is the birth story I wrote when he was two weeks old that has just been waiting to get posted:

On October 24, 2013, our family welcomed our youngest sweet one into the world. His name is Rhett and he was born at 11:44pm via c-section. His birth was not how I had hoped it would be or planned, but God has blessed us and I am overjoyed to have him in our lives. He is a gift from God and so was his birth. This is not a story about a natural birth or the VBA3C I had been praying for, and I do feel a bit defeated in that. Defeated is a strong enough word...I feel like I failed and made the wrong choice. Even though I have such strong feeling of second guessing my choice, it is a beautiful story nonetheless. 

On Friday, October 18, my contractions began coming regularly every 10 minutes, but they were still nothing I noticed. I had a doctors appointment and non stress test on Tuesday (the 15), and was checked for dilation and found no progress (3cm and 75% effaced). I was a bit disappointed, but at least that gave us a point to know when "change" happened. I set my deadline for a VBA3C for Saturday (October 19). Well, unfortunately for me, Saturday came and went. I pushed it till Sunday and then that flew by as well. It was so difficult to see those deadlines come and go. I was saddened and frustrated. I began my struggle to find peace. 

The morning of October 23, my contractions picked up in intensity. I could no long ignore them, but I could easily work through them, making dinner, doing bed time with my four children, hanging out with my husband, and cleaning. They were still ten minutes apart, nothing new. October 24, I had a non stress test again that morning and they registered very strongly on the monitor, but since they weren't new and baby was doing well through them, I was sent home.  I sent my husband a text saying it was his turn to try inducing labor…and we all know what that means. ;-)  We were on a time table, he was leaving for training in a few days and wanted to witness this little one's birth. He's missed two out of the first four, he didn't want to miss the fifth. So, we tried our natural induction when I got home from the doctor and I wound up with bloody show later, but nothing I was concerned about. Nothing that screamed "Lady! You're in labor!"

My contractions continued, I timed them for an hour, 5 minutes apart, but then I stopped because I got busy with dinner and playing with the kids. They would get closer together then get further apart all the time, I wasn't in labor. Well, when dinner and dinner clean up was done, I sat down and found that they were still 5 minutes apart. Decision time, my husband had to work in the morning, do we go in early enough so if it's a false alarm we can still make it home for a few hours of sleep or do I wait until the morning to see if I'm in labor. I wasn't convinced, but my husband was anxious to get this baby here. At 6:30pm, I was convinced, we sent grandma to the store while we got ready. 7pm, we were out the door and ready to have a baby…well, he was hopeful, I was less than convinced. On the way we chatted, we laughed, we were becoming very convinced that this was not labor. It wasn't painful at all, in fact, I didn't even notice more the contractions. I almost had him turn around, but we had committed to going and getting check. We got to the hospital, parked in the parking ramp and waddled my butt up to L&D just before 9pm. I checked in but there were so many women in the rooms there, I had to wait to be triaged for 20 minutes or so. No big deal, not labor. I had to use the rest room at this point, which confirmed I was still bleeding, but it looked like cervical change bleeding, nothing impressive. The doctor came in, decided to check me, convinced no baby would come tonight. Ok, we'd still get 4-5 hours of sleep before my husband had to leave for work. (The fact that he had to be to work at 4am was the reason we went in when we did. If we hadn't, I would have waited until my water broke, probably some time the next day) He started getting ready to go home. I did too.

She checked me. "Hmmm," she said. "What does that mean?" I asked, my husband's face lit up. "Well, we're going to get you an IV and we're going to have a baby soon." My husband's face was so excited. He sent text messages to everyone, especially the superiors at work so they knew he wouldn't be there since we thought we'd be waiting until 2am to have this sweet baby. I was 4cm, completely effaced, and my water was ready to break. He was coming soon one way or the other. I was kind of sad to be in the hospital at this point, but I had made my choice on going in to get checked and had the support from my family to be there. I do think that part of me will always question whether I should have waited and labored at home and fought for a VBA3C, but I cannot live questioning it. It takes away from my joy and I will not let that happen! If we had waited, I have no doubts we might have had a baby at home or an emergency situation. I'm glad I don't have to worry about which one it might have been. 

Well, things went fast from that point. The entire staff was in shock that I lacked any pain with the contractions. They kept telling me as soon as the spinal block got done I wouldn't feel them. People, if that's all my contractions were like until I was seriously into labor or my water broke, I could handle that with ease. Anyway, I labored in a bed for a couple hours until they had an OR open and staff ready. I went back and waited some more for this anesthesiologist resident to do my spinal. I've had four spinals and an epidural done…this was the longest and worst experience I've ever had. It hurt ten times worse than any contractions and he didn't even do a very good job. I ended up needing more medication twice through my IV just to not feel the pain of the surgery! 11:20pm, I was finally on my back on the table, my husband was brought in and they started. Ok, My husband was standing watching them do it. No big deal for him but I kind of wanted a little encouragement as this was the worse c-section ever…ok, not ever, but it was hard. There was a lot more pushing to get him out than with the other kids. I asked him a few times to focus on me. I couldn't breathe as they pushed. He had to focus on coaching me through the breaths. He did great. 11:44pm, he was out and I needed more pain meds. I got to see him for two seconds after they cleaned him up. 10 pounds 14 ounces. 21.5 inches long. Blood sugar of 55. The low range of high so they took him to the NICU and treated him with both and IV and bottles after I told them one or the other. Since I couldn't have that fight in the NICU, I let it go and prayed. God watched over him and blessed us with an easy transition to breastfeeding after the bottles. Another answered prayer!

He spent 2 days in the NICU, but hasn't looked back since. He's lost a pound, but that's what happens when mom is pumped full of fluids before birth. He nurses like a champ, sleeps like a sweet baby should, and has such a pleasant demeanor. The kids all love him and that is a great plus. No jealousy. No rivalry. No issues so far. I'm praying we are blessed with an easy transition. 

Since my sweet Rhett was born, I've struggled with my choice of delivery. I do wish I had labored at home, I do wish I'd push for a VBA3C. I regret my choice to go in when I did and let the staff kind of bully me into a c-section, but I will continue to fight for peace in my choice and I WILL ALWAYS love my sweet baby and his birth story. I am blessed by his arrival and cannot imagine my life without him or any of his siblings.

Mommy's Bad Day

Do you ever have those days? The ones where life just sucks?

Well, one day last week was one of those days for me. I didn't sleep well because I'm basically in labor but not progressing, which is a good thing at this point. So, I was tired.

Then there was the water and ice that was spilled in the car all over the only diapers I brought with us and the pillow his sister loves.

Speech was filled with no listening skills. Naps was much the same.

Bed time was the only highlight of the day, but as I sat in my bed listening to them chatter, I relished in it. The kids were all staying in their beds, even 18 month old Ziva. Calling for Mom, but not getting out of bed. That hasn't happened in over 2 years. Normally, I have to lay in their room with them or fold laundry outside their door to get them to stay in bed. Nope, not last night. Sleep came easy and quickly to me bunch last night. For that, I am thankful.

So thankful for God's promises and forgiveness.

Today is a new day. I will rejoice and be glad in everything, even the water sitting in the cup holder that I have yet to clean up.

Weeks 30 & 31 Pregnancy Update

I skipped the last 3-4 weeks as not much is going on pregnancy wise. I'm getting huge, but I'm not hungry all the time any more. I'm hoping that means I won't gain tons of weight. That is always a concern for my dietician and endocrinologist. I normally lose weight when I'm pregnant. This time, I've gained a whole 10 pounds...shocking, I know. My first I gained 12 and lost it when he was born. My second, gained 15 and lost that plus 5 before leaving the hospital. Third, I broke even, gaining 10, losing 10. Fourth, I gained 17, but I lost 20. With her, however, I overate, trying to keep my milk supply up and ended up gaining 10 pound between birth and 11 month old. This time, I'm hoping to break even and get down to pre-marriage weight before the next baby, God willing.

It's busy with the four kids and being this far along, but I love it! My kids are a handful, but they are such a joy and I wouldn't trade my life for anything else. Zach and Asher are getting very excited to meet their newest sibling. Every time I go to any doctor, they ask if the doctor is going to take the baby out this time. There is an overwhelming sadness for them when I tell them not this time.

Birth planning is seeming like a constant battle. I really want this VBA3C. It's hard to explain to the doctors why, but they can't force me to have another scheduled c-section. If this beautiful little one decides to come before my 39 week c-section, which I am praying for, I will be trying a VBA3C...which means I will be laboring in a bed hooked up to constant monitors to watch for the uterine rupture or other "distressing" signs. Not ideal, but if God blesses me with the chance, I know I can do it.

I am still nursing and plan to continue to until Ziva is either two year old or not interested. I'm guessing she'll want to nurse until she's two. So, I'll start to completely ween after Christmas. I am hoping that continuing to nurse will help her adjust to not being the baby any more. Keely didn't do so well, so I'm really looking for something to help make it easier.

Not much else is going on in our home these days. Daddy, Lord willing, will not be here much for the next four weeks. We are praying he'll be finishing up his final school before a possible deployment and a promotion. We'd appreciate prayers for peace in this situation and that God would allow Daddy to get into this class. We are up against the re-enlistment deadline and are hoping to get to a real unit before having to sign again. Please, pray. We need lots of prayer for peace more than anything.

Blessings to you all!

What's Important

Today was a great day, until Mommy got overwhelmed.

We spent the morning with friends and the folks that are leading Backyard Bible Club.

We took naps, which one of the kidlets didn't listen so he's tired.

Then we went to the store. Everything fell apart.

Some things happened at home that had nothing to do with the kids...those things set me off.

After our completely healthy dinner of cookies and corn dogs, Mommy swept the floors and read a book to Zach. Why? Because this lady needed an attitude adjustment. Reading a store is far more important than sweeping my kitchen anyway.

Three of what really matters

I won't go into details, but I really am tired of being the only homemakers here. I'm tired of cooking and cleaning. I'm tired of planning everything and not having help. Parenting and caring for my kids isn't always easy, but I always feel fulfilled.


So, tonight, I will focus on being the best Mommy I can be. Zachary thanked my tonight for dinner. That meant the world to me since no one, and I mean no one, thanks me for feeding them unless we're hosting a meal for friends. Zachary, you are so welcome sweet boy. Thank you for eating corn dogs and cookies with your Mommy. I really enjoyed sharing in songs with you.

This Mothering Journey

I have been a mother for about 5.5 years. Sure, it doesn't sound like very long, but I've had four children in that time and am expecting our fifth in late October or early November. In those short years, I've gained a lot of mothering experience.



I've learned that there are just some times silly pictures have to be taken...ok, at our house, A LOT of times when they must be taken.

Some times, your daughter is just going to cry when you say no. It's okay, she'll learn and get over it. Other times, you will sit and cuddle her and tell her it's okay. There will always be someone who does it better, faster, more patiently, has a cleaner house, a better car/van, more kids, better behaved kids...the list goes on forever. 

One day you'll wake up and they're eighteen...or four.

The number one thing I've learned is that we are all at different points on our mothering journey. I have several friends with one or two children who are the same age as some of my kids (I'm not friends with anyone with more than two children). It's hard for them to imagine having more than what they have because they struggle so much with one or two. Many don't take me up on offers to help them because I have four and it must be so difficult.

Some times, it's worth letting her mop the drive in the rain

We are all at different points in mothering. At this point in my life, it isn't as hard as many think it is. In fact, I think this point is easier than it was when I had two. Yes, there is always something I could clean, a fight to break up, an owie to fix, a baby to nurse, a meal to fix, a basket of laundry, or something else to do, but that's how life is. It won't be like this for long so I'm going to love the busy-ness and loudness of it all.

Take heart, overwhelmed mother! While you feel overwhelmed, it is only a short time. It's okay to ask for help and take advantage when others offer. It's hard when you're in the trenches. It's hard when everyone is telling you how they parent or stare when you're three year old throws a tantrum in the store, but you are the parent and you are doing the best you can. It's okay to lock yourself in the bathroom for a few minute, if everyone is safe, or to go cry in your room. Your kids will be fine. 

That is me, sleeping, holding our youngest daughter when she was a couple weeks old.
After putting Keely to bed, we fell asleep on the living room furniture while Daddy was playing softball.
Overwhelmed? That doesn't even start to tell you what I was. :)

A Long, Fulfilling Day

Yesterday the kids and I woke up at 7am. Not early but not late either. Well, that's not true. It was late. I needed to get everyone dressed and fed by 7:25 so we could be in the car by 7:30am. I did it, but they ate in the car. Mommy didn't have time for anything carb free, so Mommy didn't eat.

We went to my endocrinology appointment, which is about an hour away (that's why the 7:30 deadline was set). No real update here. My numbers are good, highs here and there along with lows, but my A1C was 6.4, so I'm happy. We discussed my diet a little bit since I have been having cravings for fruit (bananas especially). One a day, half in the morning and half for an afternoon snack was the agreement.  I was so thankful that she didn't change my meds. I fight cravings daily, but I know I can say no. Am I strong enough is the question. My pump settings are correct. My food consumption is wrong. I'm working on that.

Back to the day! I told the kids (yes all four came with) if they were good and listened at my appointment, that we could go to Backyard Bible Clubs at their friends house afterward. So, we flew to get on post in time. We were a few minutes late, but it didn't matter. Everyone had a blast! At first the boys were not having it, but when story time came around and I made them sit with me, they got into it. Talking about Jesus just made them happy and excited. I'm so proud!

After that, Speech. Zach is in Speech therapy for some process issues, but he's come so far! Many people still have difficulty understanding him when he's excited, but he is doing much better than two years ago, or even a year ago. Everyone appreciates that help we receive at therapy. Anyway, speech was chaos. Everyone was tired, it was 1:00pm and past nap time. We managed to stay awake on the way home and take naps once home.

Pest guy came at 4:00pm. Everyone woke up at 5:00pm. Pool right after waking up. Dinner...well, that didn't happen until after pool and showers. The pool pumps failed yesterday so it smelled like a lake. Showers were needed. We didn't eat until 8:00pm. That's okay. Bedtime wasn't until 10:00pm last night, but I was totally okay with that. Daddy didn't feel well so he went to bed shortly after dinner, but we played with blocks and read several stories before climbing in bed to look at our own books independently.

It was a packed, but blessed day! We are going back to Backyard Bible Clubs again today, despite the lack of fuel funds. God will provide if it's important.

On Having More Than One (or Two) Children

When I'm out and about with all four, or even three, of the kids, a lot of people comment on having my hands full or that I never have a dull moment. I mean A LOT of people, nearly everyone who sees us. I normally smile and say "yes, thank you." I take a sense of pride in having my brood running around my cart and my ability to stay cool (God is so good at teaching us patience. Can I get an Amen?).

Friends and acquaintances also ask how I do it with four kids when they struggle with one or two often. One of my dear friend has two and says that they have agreed to have as many children as the Lord will bless them with. She does admit that she's not sure how she will handle it, which I think is amazing. She and I both know that large families aren't for everyone, but I know it is for us and they know that God will bless them as much as He sees fit.

Here's what I think, and I know you've heard part of this before. First and foremost, parents of two wanting more, transitioning from one to two children is more difficult than transitioning to larger numbers. After our second baby, I realized, even though our oldest was high demand due to medical problems, that it was so easy having one...in hindsight. While you are in the trenches, it's tough and I will never deny that. I just want all parents to see hope and joy in their situation. You'll look back on having one child and wonder why you thought it was so difficult. I did for about 18 months, until number three was born. Now, I look back and look at our present circumstances, and I see how silly I was and how "easy" it is even with four.

Second, for most people, after a certain number of children, you don't see having more children as more of a real challenge. That number for us was three...with our third and fourth time, we became parents who were thinking, why not have more? What's another children? A HUGE blessing, that's what! You see, once you organize and focus on loving your children, you realize that it's not a scary burden. The Lord will not give you more than HE can handle, and He will help you handle it too!

A battle we don't pick, playing in the rain versus staying clean and dry.
Rain wins hands down.

Third, it doesn't have to be a battle between you and your kids. We are to be teaching our children how to live according to the Lord's will and blessing. Let me tell you all a secret...my kids and I fight, a lot. We are a loud family, so the fights get louder. My sons are great noise makers and they are great yellers. Let me tell you, when they are angry they let you know. I am hopeful though, that we will all learn to control our anger and frustration and use our big boy (and girl) words and voices to express ourselves. Instead of battling, teach your kids how to express themselves in ways that don't make it a battle. Also, pick your battles. My kids get away with a lot when I'm sick because, let's face it, I'm lucky if I can change the girls' diapers before losing my lunch. Sometimes, the boys duke it out on the floor in front of me until I think it's getting out of control or unsafe. No one ever gets hurt, but I want them to figure things out on their own, especially when I'm glued to the toilet. Guess what, your child saying no, while disrespectful, doesn't have to be a battle. My kids express their opinion all the time. They are told that we are so glad they feel they can tell us how they feel, but they will do what they are told. A fight some time follows, if it does, a break in their room is needed to think about if they really want to fight with Mommy or Daddy. After a few minutes, a more thoughtful little boy comes down and does as he's told (or he fall asleep in his room and an hour later the thoughtful and rested boy comes down). Life is already full of battles. Don't make your home a constant battlefield for the ones who should feel safest there.

Motherhood is Messy...but it's worth waiting to clean some messes...it's worth
it...every...single...time

Fourth, you probably won't have a clean house when you have more children...and guess what...that's fine! For years, I struggled with the pressure of maintaining a clean house. As the number of our children increased, so did my stress and struggle. I happened to find a blog somewhere along the way, in the past year, and found that what the woman wrote was so freeing. She was a mother of a large family who really knows what's important. Summarizing, when you have a large family, you will have a messy house. That doesn't mean it's filthy, just that it's not spotless. Ready for my confessions? I don't mop my floor but maybe once every 3 or 4 days, except the dining room. That happens every night after dinner because our sweet baby girl throws food on it. I don't sweep under my sofa ever day and I only sweep once a day. Our toy room gets picked up every other day (if I'm lucky), the laundry some times just has to wait. Why does all this stuff wait? Well, because I love my kids and understand that love doesn't need a clean house. About 9 months ago, I told my husband that he had to accept that this house wasn't ever going to be clean. I wanted happy kids, not a clean house (truth be told, I'd love a clean house too, but that's not as important as my kids). As the kids get older, I definitely will expect my house to get cleaner as we teach them responsibility. They will clean and tidy and do their part, but as they are still to young to do many things, that house is a mess and thats just fine...as long as when you come over you don't mind the mess. Remember, Motherhood is messy. But some messes just have to wait when everyone is headed to the pool, or the couch for story time, or the toy room for Army men wars...it's worth it to make those memories...every...single....time. The mess will be there later to clean up. Those memories may not.

I have so many more points I could highlight, but as it is, I have spent long enough writing and I highlighted the four main things I feel people need to know. Above all else, I hope you will be thankful for the children the Lord blesses you with and that you will treasure the time He gives you to love them!

What are your thoughts on having more than one child? Or more than two? What's a large family in your mind?

The First Hockey Practice

Zach is 5

Asher is 4

They started hockey Sunday with Daddy's help. Yes, they can barely skate, but they loved it! The head coach loved seeing them on the ice too. So where will we be every Sunday? No, not at church. We'll be at hockey practice. Why? Because life is too short to let this passion pass by. We don't know how long Zach will be able to play contact sports, so it's completely worth giving him every change to skate and play.

Getting tips from Daddy

Before you judge us, we are going to have church on Sundays as well. We will just start doing it at home. I grew up with several friends who did church in each others homes. Why can't we do that? So that's our plan...we will do church at home on Sundays and Wednesday evening at a church this fall for the social side of church. We're excited!

When you fall, you have to get back up!

Common Family Questions

As the mother of 4, soon to be 5, children, in less than 6 years, I get some really interesting and rude comments and questions. Some still disturb me. Others make me giggle. After talking to other moms and my husband, I decided to share a little bit about how we handle the questions people ask and assumptions people make.

Asher helping Ziva play in the puddle

The most common is, "how many children are you guys going to have?" I get this question a lot. I mean, a lot...every time people see us out, a lot. My husband and I had struggled for some time with how to answer this question. After 4 years of being parents and leaving children up to the Lord, and two or three months of discussion, we have finally come up with an answer that we are comfortable telling people. Our answer is very simple, We are leaving that up to God. I am a diabetic and that answer doesn't sit well with many people, especially my family. I know that they are only concerned about my health, but it still is hard when your own family doesn't understand. We, as a couple and a family, have come to a place where we feel that the Lord deserves the chance to control our family size and we have chosen to accept His blessings cheerfully and lovingly. So, how many children are we going to have? We don't know, but we are open to as many as the Lord sees to bless us with. 

Boys Playing with Strollers While
Waiting for A Hockey Tourney to Start

Another one I started getting with our fourth child is, "you must be rich!" Ha! Ha! Sorry, I laugh only because we are far from rich. Some months we barely scrape by. Other months, we have lots of room in the budget. One of the first times I heard this was at a clinic for my oldest son's heart. The nurse asked how many kids I had, as I only have two with me. I told her four with one on the way and she stared at me for a second then assumed, out loud, that we must be rich. I laughed a little, and said, "Please, we are a family of 6 on a Specialist's pay. We are far from rich!" Since then, I have revised my answer. I've heard it several more times since then. Now, I tell people that we are rich in love. Most people don't know how to answer to that, so they don't talk to me any more. Oh well. We are and I'm not afraid to tell people that. 

"Are all these yours?" This one has been coming at me since I have my third child, which surprised me. Three just didn't seem like a lot. I guess they were close together, but still. There is a song out there by Rodney Adkins called, He's Mine. I really like that song and I think of it every time people ask me that question. Like he says in the song, "I'll take the blame and claim him (in my case, them) every time. Yeah, ya'll he's mine." When people ask me this question, I claim them all with a huge smile on my face and tell that person that they are all mine and I can't wait for more blessings.

"You know how that happens, right?" We heard this from my husband's cousins wife when I was pregnant with our second, 6 months after I had our first. Let me tell you, I hate this one. No, I still haven't figured it out...duh! I know how it happens. If I'm bold enough, some day I'll tell some one that I do know how it happens and that my husband and I rather enjoy it. For now, I tell them that we are very blessed and hope that we will be blessed with more.

Boys wrestling with Wreck It Ralph gloves

"You must be very patient." Yeah, when I'm sleeping...no, I'm not patient. It's one of those things I really struggle with. I have a hot temper, a quick fuse, and four kids who know how to get a reaction. Yes, I have patient days. I also have days where I have no patience at all. Someone once told me that God doesn't give us patience. He gives us opportunities to practice patience. I completely agree. "No, I'm not patient or a saint. I just have a lot of chances to learn to be patient."

It rained for two day...

Mommy thought, why not let Zach steer through the yard...

We got stuck...my fault completely, but the kids were so excited
about getting stuck and getting unstuck because they did all the work.

Those are some of the many things that we are told often or asked on a regular basis. Some are funny, some are rude. What are some things you are asked regularly?